Gambar halaman
PDF
ePub

over his eyes, deposits his hands in the pockets of his small-clothes, and takes extraordinary long walks into the country. But even the fair face of nature becomes changed; the barrenness of his pockets throws a corresponding sterility over the landscape, deducting "the glory from the grass and splendor from the flower." The blossoming of the earth is no longer pleasant to his sight, or the music of the merry warblers of the woods delightful to his ear. His "heart is out of joint," and all nature seems to be filled with unpleasing comparisons between his own state and hers. He stalks about with lowering brow and upturned lip, an unpleasant discord amid the universal harmony and fitness of things. At this juncture, let intelligence arrive of a heavy legacy left him by some appropriately defunct distant relative-and lo! the change! It is as a dark cloud passing from the sun. Monsieur Il Penseroso becomes L'Allegro in a twinkling. He draws his hand from the extensive vacuum in which they have been dangling, takes the yellow spectacles from his eyes, raises the hat from his brow, unbuttons his coat, and turns, with a feeling of leisurely enjoyment, to welcome the fresh spring breeze. The song of birds and the odour of flowers are again grateful to his senses. The rivulet tinkles once more pleasantly in his ear, and the cheer

ful song of the lark finds a corresponding echo in his own bosom. He indulges no longer in speculations on the vanity and insufficiency of things, but hies homeward cheerful, free, enfranchised, independent. He orders an approved cookery book, lies a bed and studies it, and marvels, in a short time, how melancholy ever gained a footing in this mighty pleasant world. Oh money, money!marvellous indeed are the changes thou canst produce. Would that I were a bank director!

AN HUMBLE ADDRESS TO THE MARRIAGEABLE

LADIES OF THE UNITED STATES.

Note. The following paper was suggested by seeing it repeatedly stated in American papers, that Societies had been formed in different parts of the Union, wherein young ladies pledged themselves to discourage the addresses of all young men who were known to have used spirituous liquors; some excluded wine, and I think if they were right in the one case they were right in the other; for whether a man absorbs wine or spirits in sufficient quantities to produce intoxication, is very immaterial. But, indeed, as all wines contain an admixture of spirit (more or less), they come under both the letter and spirit of the prohibition.

"2dly.-Resolved,-That from this time forward we will not encourage or admit the addresses of any gentleman who shall be known to be in any way concerned in the consumption of ardent spirits, (except as a medicine.")-American Paper.

AMIABLE young ladies!—Is this thing so? Has the decree indeed irrevocably gone forth, that throughout the United States bachelor and brandydrinker shall henceforth become synonymous terms; that the cup of wedded bliss shall never be quaffed by him who quaffs of any other cup (tea and coffee excepted)—that an eternal line of separation shall be drawn between those ancient friends, Hymen

and Bacchus—and that the nursery and the cellar shall never more be found conjoined under the same roof? What nest of malevolent spinsters, cut off themselves from all maternal hopes; or what congregation of thin, dyspeptic, water-drinking youths has persuaded you to the adoption of this suicidal course, destructive alike of your own comfort and happiness, and the comfort and happiness of numerous worthy, hearty fellows, I am lost in conjecture. Can the holders of shares in the Manhattan and other water companies have any concern in the getting-up and promulgation of this unnatural resolution—this "sharp, biting statute?" But let who will be concerned, I will never believe that such a resolution will or can become universal, or ever attain to the firm texture of the laws of the Medes and Persians, which alter not. What! have all the bright eyes, blooming cheeks, and warm hearts of the damosels of the western continent, to be in future monopolized by cold, watery, fish-blooded young men, incapable of a glass or two, or occasionally upwards; and has all hilarity, good fellowship, decent conviviality, with their concomitants, toasts, songs, and sentiments, to be prohibited under penalty of being the sole occupant of a four-post or other bedstead? My dears, you could never have given the thing a thought when you vowed your

selves members of such a cruel and barbarous association. You have been led away by morbid and exaggerated descriptions of bloated intemperance, and the madness of intoxication-of neglect and poverty and misery-of sitting sorrowfully by the lonely fire, listening to the dull ticking of the clock, until some brute, whom you have dignified by the name of husband, reels homeward from his nightly debauch; and these horrid fancies have haunted your imaginations until you have come to the conclusion that there is a much more intimate connexion between virtue and cold water than really exists. Trust me, a man may drink seven tumblers per diem of the pure fluid, and be no saint; and another may take his social glass, enjoy his bottle and his friend, and on high festivals get merry, mellow, comfortable, elevated, sublimated, or whatever the word is, without at all forfeiting his general claims to sobriety, or trespassing upon the duties of a husband or a father. And here is the radical defect of temperance or abstinence societies generally; the line of demarcation is too strongly drawn there is no neutral ground. It is "touch not, taste not," or else a very undeserved opprobrium (especially in small villages), is attached to him who either touches or tastes, thus rendering him careless and reckless from a sense of the seve

« SebelumnyaLanjutkan »