feminine, and deludeth himself that he is admired. Moreover, he hath an incipient beard, that groweth stragglewise upon the nethermost parts of his face like thistles upon a common, the which he cherisheth much, and coaxeth with his finger and thumb; and he may now be discovered secretly perusing the advertisements which set forth the virtues of the oil 'ycleped Macassar.

Again; in the presence of his superior officers, there is observance in his eye, activity in his heels, and much humility in his voice; the brim of his hat is worn bare by overmuch touching thereof, and he starteth with "an obedient start" when the first lieutenant ordereth the decks to be swept. From those above him, he taketh everything in good part: he taketh dinner with the captain joyfully; he taketh reproof from the officer of the watch. humbly; he taketh lunars with the master assiduously; he taketh grog with the purser zealously; and he taketh the conceit out of a Midshipman weaker than himself, with a right good drubbing, boastfully.

Though he knoweth that he be now in the chrysalis state, he anticipateth with an overstrained faith the time when he will burst forth the butterfly lieutenant, with the one golden wing on the right shoulder; and he prideth himself accordingly. Yet he condescendeth, at times, to hold familiar discourse with the three warrant officers, whom he astonisheth; for verily, hath he not struck the gunner with awe by the word " parabola !" mystified the carpenter by speaking of "aqueous edificial constructions," and vanquished the boatswain in argument, because he understood not the proposition that "in metaphysics, nothing may be understood, as everything in the preconception of an unformed substance, upon which depends the first category of illimitable boundaries that circumscribe infinity."

To conclude: he hath become wary, and escheweth the masthead, and the ways that lead thereunto; he borroweth more money than he lendeth; he patroniseth, and he catereth for the mess; he possesseth also fine jokes, at the which the youngsters would do well to be rejoiced, and their joy be more exceeding at the repetition thereof; he also getteth drunk virtuously and discreetly, and imitateth Master Slender in becoming intoxicated only with the soberminded, and in exemplary society. Finally: he readeth Hamilton More, and drinketh with devotion the toast,-" A bloody war, and a sickly season."

Thus there be three states of this officer, yet is he one, and indivisibly a MIDSHIPMAN.

THE PEW-OPENER.

BY DOUGLAS JERROLD.

EVEN in the temple-at the very shrine-where meekness, selfhumiliation, contrition of heart, and remorse of spirit, kneel, and make sweet sacrifice; yea even there, plies the Pew-Opener: the busy servitor of pride; the watchful handmaid of distinction; the soft-spoken waiter upon Mammon: yes, in the temple, the hopeful looker-out for sixpences.

Pews! What a sermon might we not preach upon these little boxes!- small abiding-places of earthly satisfaction! sanctuaries for self-complacency!-in God's own house, the chosen chambers for man's self glorification! What an instructive colloquy might not the bare deal bench of the poor church-goer hold with the softcushioned seat of the miserable sinners who chariot it to prayers, and with their souls arrayed in sackcloth and ashes, yet kneel in silk and miniver. How would the thumbed, dogs'-eared, discoloured, sheep-cased prayer-book, discourse it with the volume bound in velvet, clasped with gold, and borne to its place by stalwart footman, powdered specially for the sabbath!

Pews!

How often, in your half-filled spaces, may be seen the smug possessor,-the thrifty, respectable Christian,—with his ears open to precepts of boundless charity to all men, glancing coldly at his pewless brother standing in the crowded aisle, and never beckoned within? Reader, have ye not beheld pews peopled with the sons of pride, the true-begotten of worldly ease, who from the softness of their seats have seemed to look more serenely round at the lowly folk without? Miserable sinners! who once a-week go through the ceremony of seeming to think themselves dust; children of darkness! who, for an example to society, permit themselves once a-week to be addressed as "the sons and daughters of corruption, the brothers and sisters of the worm!" Lowly, contrite-hearted men, in purple and fine linen, who, with abased eyelids, and faces steeped in two hours' humility, make up their minds to endure a talk of the judgment, and take a parson for the sake of appearance.

But the bell rings to church! The alehouse bolt is drawn; no sign of traffic in the street, save where the late fishmonger takes his hurried way with turbot to my lord's; no apple-stall profanes the sabbath light; and irreligious barbers, if they shave, must shave in sin and secrecy. Long lines of parish boys and girls, chattering, whispering, grinning, are led to church by master and mistress, who, deeming religion a terrible and bitter thing, look savagely serious. The two or three children who carry pewter medals look graver than the rest.

The Pew-Opener, with her kerchief of speckless white; her face put in order for the morning service; with key in hand, and active, noiseless step,--is here, is there, folding her lambs as fast as they enter. With almost a smile, and a motion very near a curtsey, she welcomes some; with aspect serious as a Death's head, she leads the way with others. To whispering children, she looks terrible as the Witch of Endor!—a witch threatening the advent of the beadle!

Mark how daintily she doth her office! The service is begun; and there is a stranger leaning in the aisle with a sixpenny face,perhaps, a shilling countenance. Poor man! although he pays church-rates, he has no pew; he hath helped to build the fabric, and to pay the preacher, but there is no seat for him save on the back benches; and that is a place (for only mark his coat, the beaver sleekness of his hat, the complexion of his linen) not to be thought. of: how can he, who comes to confess himself a filthy vessel before the Lord; a sin-stained lump of mortal clay; a moral leper; a child of iniquity, deserving everlasting fire;-how can he, Peter Wagstaff, a small tradesman with the best of prospects, sit on the same bench with the old, paralytic man who now-and-then does his errands? Peter Wagstaff is not proud,-by no means proud; no man-that is, no Christian-ought to take pride to church with him; but, for all that, although his sometimes servant makes room for his employer, Peter Wagstaff sees him not, and, in fact, would rather stand.

Our Pew-Opener beholds the apostolical fight in the breast of Peter; beholds, and walks to the rescue. Walks! The spider traversing its web above the church poor-box (for thou, great Hogarth, hath seen and fixed the insect in immortal film) makes louder noise than our Pew-Opener pacing the rushes. She approaches the stranger; her eloquent forefinger beckons him forward; surely, the lock and key are not of iron, but velvet, they work so noiselessly ;the man is in the pew, and, being in, he feels himself, as he is, respectable. He is now comfortable, and can join in the responses declaratory of his own unworthiness with beseeming placidity; he

F F