poor Man. I have not a Foot of Land upon Earth. Except a Library and a little Househould Stuff, I have nothing upon earth. And this also I am now offering unto my Creditors, to satisfy for Debts, whereof I never did myself owe a Farthing. My very Library, the Darling of my little Enjoyments, is demanded from me. Tis inexpressible, how much this Condition pleases me, gladdens me!

XIV. What has a gracious Lord given me to do, in a Variety of Services? For many Lustres of years, not a Day has passed me, without some Devices, even written Devices, to be serviceable.

AND YETT, my Sufferings, they seem to be (as tis Reason they should be,) more than my Services. Every Body points at me, and speaks of me, as by far the most afflicted Minister in all New England. And many look on me as the greatest Sinner because the greatest Sufferer: and are pretty Arbitrary in their Conjectures on my punished Miscarriages.

But now, lett me proceed unto my Dispositions and my Consolations, under these Dispensations.

First; I have a clear and strong Perswasion of a Future State. I am heartily willing, to wait for the Fulfilment of all the Promises in the Covenant of God, until my Arrival at that World, where I shall have all the Spiritual Blessings of the heavenly Places bestowed upon me. I am content, and I can patiently and cheerfully allow of it, that the whole Harvest of my mean Studies to glorify God, should be adjourned unto a future State. I do most freely submitt and consent unto the Condition of a crucified Man, and am willing to have my Crucifixion go on with a perpetual Succession of Pains and Pangs, without any Prospect of any Outgate, but at and by the dying Hour.

Yea, secondly. I have already received an abundant Recompence of Reward. A glorious CHRIST has reveled Himself to me, has conferred Himself on me, has taken Possession of me. The Views which I have of a glorious CHRIST, and the Wayes which He teaches me, of conversing with Him, and so finding in Him the Consolations which it will be in vain for me to seek in Creatures, which are at best but lying Vanities: These are a sufficient Compensation for all that I undergo, in being made a Man of Sorrows and acquainted with Griefs. If I never had any other Compensation made for my Troubles, I have here so much, that I need not ask for any more.

16. G. D. All faithful and prudent Methods must be used; that the Flock may be established in the Faith and Order of the Gospel, and the present Truth; for the

Prevention of an Apostasy to the vile Superstitions of the Ch. of E. growing upon us: And they must be yett more plainly told, what they go from, if they go away.

17. G. D. Among my many other Calamities, under which the Patience of CHRIST in me, must have its perfect Work, I have dwelling with me, a Neece of my wife's, who is a very wicked Creature, and not only utterly deaf to all Proposals of Piety, but also a monstrous Lyar and a very mischievous Person, and a sower of Discord, and a Monster of Ingratitude. The Uneasiness that by her vile Tricks is caused in my Family, is a sore Trial to me. Now may my glorious Lord assist me to be not only patient, but also very prudent under it; and in His Time and Way, deliver me from it.

18. G. D. My poor Nephew, under Languishments, what shall be done for him?

19. G. D. The Churches of this Countrey have been so wickedly misrepresented, in the Watertown-Libel, that it appears a seasonable Service unto Them, and unto the Cause of Religion, to præpare and publish an Answer to it; which accordingly I am now adoing.1

20. G. D. Tho' I purpose to take my Leave of the Board where I sitt among the Commissioners for the Affairs of the Gospel among the Indians, being dissatisfied and discouraged with their Conduct; yett I would continue my Cares for the Indians. Wherefore I write a Letter unto the Lieut. Governour and the rest of the Commissioners, to sollicit, that they would employ a Visitor, to bring them, an exact Report of what State the Indians are in; and what may be further done for them; and so prosecute with better Vigour than formerly, what shall be judged necessary. And several other Matters.

21. G. D. A Family lately arrived from N. York, to

1 Probably the "libel" was Rev. William Williams's sermon at the ordination of Rev. Warham Williams at Watertown, June 11, 1723.

dwell in this Place, I would visit on the best Intentions, and unto some Relatives of theirs at N. York, as well as unto themselves, dispense Books of Piety.

* 22. G. D. My Soul would be particularly affected with a Strain of Piety, to be express'd in certain Echo's of Devotion upon the Declarations which the Glorious GOD makes of His gracious Purposes concerning us. For Instance; Our God sais, I have chosen you. I would say, Lord, I chuse thee for my God, and chuse the Things that please thee. Our God calls His People by the Name of, His Portion and His Inheritance. I would say of Him, The Lord is my Portion, and in Him I have a goodly Inheritance. Our GOD calls His People, His Habitation. I will say to Him, Lord, Thou art my Dwelling-place and my strong Habitation, whereto I will resort continually. Our GOD speaks of His People, I will walk in them. I will say to Him, Lord, I would walk [in] thee, and walk before thee in the Land of the Living. Our God speaks of His people, as precious to Him. And in my beleeving on Him, CHRIST shall be precious unto me. Our God sais, I have loved thee with an everlasting Love. My Heart sais, I love thee, O Lord, my Strength.

23. G. D. A pathetical Representation of the State of the Flock, before the Lord, in the public Day of Prayer approaching.

24. G. D. The new Servant come to sojourn in my Family, I have great Hope, that her coming into it may prove her Conversion to GOD, and her Espousal to her SAVIOUR. And I shall have great Joy if it may be so. My serious Directions for it, must be repeted.

25. G. D. The threatening Circumstances on the Health of my Kinsman at Roxbury, obliged me to study all possible Ways of being serviceable to him, and of assisting his Præparations for what he may be shortly call'd unto.

26. G. D. This Day is a Day of general Supplications thro' the Province.

In the public Sacrifices of the Day, I propose and pursue a Variety of Services.

And I enjoy a marvellous Presence of my God with me in them.

My Prayer was about two Hours, and my Sermon more. In the Intercessions on the behalf of the Interest, which our Saviour yett has in this Countrey, I felt a strong, sweet, heart-melting Afflatus, that there should be yett some Effusions of the holy SPIRIT on His People, and a remarkable Blast from Heaven upon the Attempts of evil Men to destroy the Faith and Worship and Order of the Gospel among us.

27. G. D. Having præpared Materials, for the Vindication of our Churches from the Watertown-libel, I committ it unto a Minister in my Neighbourhood, entreating him to adopt the Composure, and alter it, and abridge it, as he pleases, and pursue the Work of preserving the Reputation of these poor Churches, in the World.

28. G. D. A young Gentleman that needs my Advice, in several Articles; especially to confirm him in the right Ways, wherein he has been hitherto strangely præserved.

29. G. D. It is to me a Thought full of Consolation; that if I have a Glorious CHRIST living in me, and have Him upon my Eye and my Cry unto Him to enter me, and possess me, and quicken me, for every Step of my Living unto GOD, I shall have Him, also suffering in me, and in all my Afflictions He will be afflicted. When I suffer such Things as He underwent of old, when He was a Man of Sorrows and acquainted with Griefs, He will after some sort suffer over again; so that He will support me under what I am call'd unto, and He will carry on my Conformity unto Himself until His Image in me shall be finished and He will by all præpare me for the Glories wherein I shall one day be a partaker with Him.

30. G. D. It being very probable, that thro' the Arrests

upon me, for the Debts of other Men, and the Plotts of them that seek my Ruine, and the unaccountable Aversion of my pretended Friends to afford me any effectual Assistance under my Distresses, my Opportunities of Service to my Flock are likely within a Month to come unto a Period, I would exceedingly study (and seek Direction from above) what most important and pathetic Things, may be most proper for me to make my εξόδια ρήματα, and to take my Farewel of the Flock withal.

it

31. G. D. My dear, dear Nancy; a Child of so many Afflictions all her Days. The unreasonable and implacable Aversion of her Mother-in-Law for her; augmented no doubt, by the wicked Kinswoman of my Wife, who sojourns with me, and otherwise adds to her Uneasiness, compells me to seek some other Place, where I may board her. I must contrive all the ways imaginable, to comfort the Child, and hearten her, and make her Sorrows profitable to her. I must also look up to Heaven for Direction about the Disposal of her.

(I.) About this time, there is published an Essay, which I wrote long ago; entituled, RELIGIOUS SOCIETIES. Proposals for the Revival of Dying Religion, by well-ordered Societies for that Purpose. With a brief Discourse offered unto a Religious Society, on the First Day of their Meeting.

1

In this Essay, there is one thing a little singular. The Sermon in it, is one that I entertained my Neighbours withal, before I was a public Preacher, and when I was but sixteen Years of Age. It may be, this is the first Sermon from one of that Age, that has been published. Thus my compassionate Lord honours me and uses me, and comforts me, in the Midst of my grievous Humiliations.

April. 1. G. D. The dangerous Condition of my Nephew M[ather] B[yles] in regard of his Entring into a Con1 Printed by S. Kneeland for John Phillips, 1724.