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.:: CH AP. XI.
of the duties of Husband and wife, I
Shall first speak of the Duties common tebeth, and then more particularly of thofe that belong to each of them serverally.
. I. Love. There ought to be a firm and invi. olable. love between them; grounded on Gods Ordinance and their own Covenant (and not meerly on natural or civil refpe&ts ) and being so neerly. united, and made one flesh, they should have but one beart. They should have che greatest tendernesse, and kindnes for each other imaginable. If any unkindnesse should at any time happen to arise between them, they should never sleep in displeasure ; bue both readily agree to a speedy reconcilement: The Sun should not go down on their wrath. Love must sweeten all their speeches, car. riage, and actions towards each other. 'Tis love will make all the duties of a married life easie, and all the cumbers and croßes, tolerable. This love must for measure, exceed and surpase their love to any other creature. There must be between them both che love of goodwill, desiring heartily
the welfare of each other, and the love of complacency, delighting in each other. Want of love betwee n man ard wife is no mean fin
Il. Faithfulnesse, and that of several forts.
1. That of the bed. They must keep themselves pure & chast from all strange embraces; and with the greatest abhorrence deceft any motion or tempéation that way. They must not embrace the bolom of a stranger, Prov.5.20. They must be conftant to each other, and confident of each other. FesJousie is the pasport of love.
2. They must keep each ochers fecrets.
4. Be faithful to each ocher in the mannsging their worldly affairs,
5. If any difference arise, not let it take vext: for jars concealed are half reconciled ; whereas if they be once divulged, 'ris a double labour to make up the breach, and stop the mouths of people abroad,
III. Helpfulnesse. They are to be mutual helpers each to other, both in spiritual and tempoqalihings.
1. They should endeavour to help one anorber os towards Heaven; to promote and encrease knoirledge and Holiness in each others souls; designing to meet together, and live toget ber for ever in Hess ven. They should pray together and for each other, 1 Per.3.7. They should faithfully, wisely, and lovingly admonish 'one another of any failings
they discern in each or her. This is (of all other) the truest and most valuable lovė. Nay indeed, How can it be said, they do love at all, if they can contentedly lec each other run on in a course that will bring them to eternal misery. True love is foul love : And if the love of Husband and wife be chus grounded in Religion, and Piety, and a care of each others fouls, it will make their lives a kind of Heaven upon earth. 'Twill prevent those contentions, heart burnings and brawls lo fatal to many Families. They will like Zachary and Elizabeth, labour to walk before the Lord blamelesse: They will endeavour to plant Religion in their family, and be examples of Piety, prudence and goodnesle to chose among
whom they live.
2. They are to be mutual helpers to each osher in natural and civil respects. They are co comfort and cherish one another boch in health and sickneffe, in prosperity and adversity: They are to advise and affist each other in a right governing their Family, and in a pradet mannaging their estate and worldly affairs: And in a word, they are to endeavour to make their passage through this world as comfortable to each ocher as they.
So much in general, for the duties common to bocb.
I now come to Speak more particularly of the duties belonging to cach of them severally. And
first, of the duties of the Husband.
1. The first duty the Husband owes to his Wife, is love. How great this love should be, che Apostle intimates by the
fimilitudes he uses in this matter. The one of that Christ bears to his Church, Eph.5.25. Husbands love your Wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave himself for it. The other, of that a man bears to himself, v.31. Let every one of you in particular, fo love his wife even as himself. Now everyone knows and feels how he loves himself. A mins love to himself, hath these properties.
1. 'Tis cordial, without diffimulation. Many a man feigns love and friendship co others, bet no body is insincere and falje in his love to bimfelf: Such a love should a man bear to his wife. As Fonathans heart was knie to David, 1 Sam. 18.1. And he loved him as his own foul; fo ought the Husband to love his Wife. The Apostle tels us, 1 Cor. 13-5. Charity is not easily provoked. Tree, fervent, cordial love is long suffering, and beareth with many infirmities and weakneses, and covereth a multitude of offences, 1 Pet. 4.8.
2. 'Tis constant. 'Tis la natural, nothing can make it cease : Though a man hath been band som, and is by socknessc become deformed; though be bath been healthy, and is become fickly; though he hath been patient, and is now grown cholerick; yer he still loves himself: So, no accidental change or defeat thould lejen a mans love to his Wife.
3. 'Tis very tender. How tenderly does a man treat himself when fick ? If he have a fore eie How careful is he ofic? Such ought a mans af. feétion be to his Wife; expreffing ic self in a tén. der regard of her, in ficknese, as well as health.
The man ought to look upon his wife as the ten. .. derer part of himself, or (as the Apostle phrases
it) as the weaker vessel, 1 Pet. 3.7. Which must not be a sanse of contempt, but rather of repeet and regard: And the more weak she is in respect of any sicknesse, or the like, so much the more tender care ought he to have of her. No manever hated bis over flesh, (faies che Apostle) but nourisheth and cherisheth it, Eph.5.29. The Husband therefore mast not do anything that may be hurtful or grievous to his wife, no more than he would cut and gah his own fesh. For my pare, I know no Law of God or man, that allows the Husband a power to beat his Wife : He is indeed to govern her ; but he is to do it by wise, loving, amiable counsel, not by stripes. The civil Law is frict against it, Cod.s. And among Heathens, we read not of any, excepe such as were mad or drunk, practifing this urnatural cruelty. The Husband therefore should mannage that authority ånd superiority which God bach given him over his wife, wisely, mildly, amiably. He should remember, all Government is ordained by God for the good of the whole, and not the pleasure only of the Governour: Therefore, all barshnejte and