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CHAP. XI.

of the duties of Husband and Wife.

Shall first speak of the Duties common tobeth, and then more particularly of thofe that belong to each of them feverally.

· Love.

They owe to each other Faithfulnesse.

Helpfulneffe.

I. Love. There ought to be a firm and inviolable love between them; grounded on Gods Ordinance and their own Covenant (and not meerly on natural or civil respects) and being fo neerly united, and made one flefb, they should have but one heart. They fhould have the greatest tenderneffe, and kindneß for each other imaginable. If any unkindneffe fhould at any time happen to arife between them, they fhould never fleep in displeasure; but both readily agree to a speedy reconcilement: The Sun fhould not go down on their wrath. Love muft/weeten all their speeches, carriage, and actions towards each other. 'Tis love will make all the duties of a married life cafie, and all the cumbers and croßes, tolerable. This love muft for measure, exceed and furpaffe their love to any other creature. There must be between them both the love of goodwill, defiring heartily Dd4

the

Chap. 11. the welfare of each other, and the love of complacency, delighting in each other. Want of love between man and wife is no mean fin

II. Faithfulneffe, and that of feveral forts. 1. That of the bed. They must keep themselves pure & chaft from all strange embraces; and with the greatest abhorrence deteft any motion or temptation that way. They must not embrace the bosom of a stranger, Prov.5.20. They must be conftant το each other, and confident of each other. Fea loufie is the pafport of love.

2. They must keep each others fecrets.
3. Conceal each others infirmities.

4. Be faithful to each other in the mannaging their worldly affairs.

5. If any difference arife, not let it take vext : for jars concealed are half reconciled; whereas if they be once divulged, 'tis a double labour to make up the breach, and stop the mouths of people abroad

III. Helpfulneffe. They are to be mutual helpers each to other, both in fpiritual and temporal things.

1. They should endeavour to help one another on towards Heaven; to promote and encreafe knowledge and Holines in each others fouls; designing to meet together, and live together for ever in Hea ven. They should pray together and for each other, I Per.3.7. They should faithfully, wifely, and lovingly admonish one another of any failings

they

they difcern in each other. This is (of all other) the trueft and most valuable love. Nay indeed, How can it be faid, they do love at all, if they can contentedly let each other run on in a course that will bring them to eternal mifery. True love is foul love: And if the love of Husband and Wife be thus grounded in Religion, and Piety, and a care of each others fouls, it will make their lives a kind of Heaven upon earth. 'Twill prevent those contentions, heart burnings and brawls lo fatal to many Families. They will like Zachary and Elizabeth, labour to walk before the Lord blameleffe: They will endeavour to plant Religion in their Family; and be examples of Piety, prudence and goodnesse to thofe among whom they live.

2. They are to be mutual helpers to each other in natural and civil respects. They are to comfort and cherish one another both in health and fickneffe, in profperity and adverfity: They are to advise and affist each other in a right governing their Family, and in a prudent mannaging their eftate and worldly affairs: And in a word, they are to endeavour to make their paffage through this world as comfortable to each other as they

can.

So much in general, for the duties common to both.

I now come to speak more particularly of the duties belonging to each of them feverally. And

firft, of the duties of the Husband.

I. The first duty the Husband owes to his Wife, is love. How great this love fhould be, the Apostle intimates by the fimilitudes he ufes in this matter. The one of that Chrift bears to his Church, Eph.5.25. Husbands love your Wives, even as Christ alfo loved the Church, and gave himself for it. The other, of that a man bears to himself, v.31. Let every one of you in particular, fo love his wife even as himself. Now every one knows and feels how he loves himself. A mans love to himself, hath thefe properties.

1. 'Tis cordial, without diffimulation. Many amanfeigns love and friendship to others, but no body is infincere and falfe in his love to himfelf: Such a love should a man bear to his Wife. As fonathans heart was knit to David, 1 Sam. 18.1. And he loved him as his own foul; fo ought the Husband to love his Wife. The Apostle tels us, 1 Cor. 13.5. Charity is not eafily provoked. True, fervent, cordial love is long fuffering, and beareth with many infirmities and weakneßes, and covereth a multitude of offences, 1 Pet.4.8.

2. 'Tis conftant. 'Tis fo natural, nothing can make it ceafe: Though a man hath been handsom, and is by fickneffe become deformed; though he bath been healthy, and is become fickly; though he hath been patient, and is now grown cholerick; yet he still loves himself: So, no accidental change or defect should leffen a mans love to his Wife.

3. 'Tis

3. 'Tis very tender. How tenderly does a man treat himself when fick? If he have a fore eie How careful is he of it? Such ought a mans affection be to his Wife; expreffing it felf in a ten der regard of her, in fickneffe, as well as health. The man ought to look upon his wife as the ten derer part of himself, or (as the Apostle phrafes it) as the weaker veffel, 1 Pet.3.7. Which muft not be a cause of contempt, but rather of respect and regard: And the more weak the is in respect of any fickneffe, or the like, fo much the more tender care ought he to have of her. No man ever bated his own flesh, (faies the Apoftle) but nourifheth and cherisheth it, Eph.5.29. The Husband therefore must not do any thing that may be hurtIful or grievous to his Wife, no more than he would cut and gafh his own flesh. For my part, I know no Law of God or man, that allows the Husband a power to beat his Wife: He is indeed to govern her, but he is to do it by wife, loving, amiable counfel, not by ftripes. The civil Law is ftrict against it, Cod.5. And among Heathens, we read not of any, except fuch as were mad or drunk, practifing this unnatural cruelty. The Husband therefore fhould mannage that authority and fuperiority which God hath given him over his Wife, wifely, mildly, amiably. He should remember, all Government is ordained by God for the good of the whole, and not the pleasure only of the Governour: Therefore. all harfhneffe and roughnelle,

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