misery. Therefore enable me to do-to observe this, and all thy other laws, that I, by patience and well-doing, may finally be brought into thy heavenly kingdom.

July 25th.—I fear the above is worded in a manner that corresponds not with the Gospel; for it would justify me by the law. I desire not to trust to being saved thereby, but through the merits of Jesus Christ.

That I may the better remember vows which were made in youth and riper years, I here record them which come to my remembrance, praying the Lord will be pleased to enable me to perform them.

1816. During an illness.

If it will please the Lord to raise me from this bed of sickness, the remainder of my days shall be devoted to his service in the ministerial office.

JOHN R. M'DOWALL.

1822. While a student at law, in York, Upper

Canada.

In reflecting on my past life, I find conscience bears me witness, that unless I perform the vow of 1816, and do, as soon as circumstances permit, relinquish the thoughts of ever becoming a barrister and counsellor at law, I never can have peace with my God.

I am sensible that my abilities are but slender; however, God can be to me as he was to Moses, and do even much more; in consequence of which I will devote the remainder of my life to his honor and glory; and may the Lord enable me to keep this vow.

[L. S.] Signed, sealed, and executed with faith in Jesus Christ, my Lord and only Savior.

York, Upper Canada.

JOHN R. M'DOWALL.

GOD IS TRUE.

CHAPTER IV.

Precautions against error-Against impetuosity and indiscretionChastisements-Disappointments-resignation—Claims of the hea then-Response to the call-Departure from his father's houseCommencement of his studies at Amherst-Resolutions and

prayers.

FROM HIS DIARY.

July 26.-I find that I am subject to a bias from three sources: Times," Persons, and Opinions." In times, in judging of ages past and gone by the present; from "persons," in submissively following their creed without due examination, they thereby acquiring an imperceptible authority over my sentiments, even so much so as to seduce me to adopt their errors; and from "opinions," in endeavoring to pervert or modify facts, in favor of those who have embraced them, or to the disadvantage of those who have opposed them ;-from this, Lord, deliver me.

27. The impetuous fire of youth often drives us on, and without carefully tempering it with moderation, it may plunge us into a labyrinth of inextricable difficulties.

Then zeal, tempered by discretion, is a treasure which can never be too highly valued; nor can zeal without knowledge be too highly condemned and guarded against. So then, to be a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of God, giving to each his portion in due season, without fear or partiality, is truly much to be desired.

I am again troubled with a pain in my thigh, and am obliged to use crutches to go from one room to another.

August 18.-Since the 15th of July it has pleased the Lord to chastise me in two ways; the one with sickness, the other with disappointment.

As to the first-On or about the 15th of July, having attended to the Sabbath school as superintendent, I was seized with a violent pain in the thigh, and soon became so affected that I was obliged to apply to a surgeon. At this moment it is not entirely free from the infection.

As to the second disappointment, my life being devoted to the Lord, I am anxious of entering the ministry. For this purpose I relinquished the Law; and in six months was to have been in a seminary of learning, in order to prepare myself for that important office. But twelve months have elapsed, and there are no more appearances of my departure than when I returned to my father's house. This is the disappointment. This has caused me to repine, and not be so humble as I should have been. O that I might be resigned in adversity, and thankful in prosperity. O that I might never murmur at the dispensations of Providence, but always kiss the rod that inflicts the wound. JOHN R. M'DOWALL.

19th. My mind is much agitated at this moment. It arises from a call for a young man to go to the heathen as a missionary. O my God, I am thine; dispose of me as thou shalt think best.

The past night was one of the most trying I have ever had, at least lately. The conflict was great. Whether I should accept the call, and go as a missionary to the heathen, is a question quite undecided in my mind. The many obstacles which missionaries have to encounter from the prince of the power of the air, is enough to discourage a youth of more fortitude than myself.

But it is not in an arm of flesh I must trust. The Lord is a rock of refuge; yea, he is a tower of strong defence. Canada, my native land, knows but little of that which maketh for her everlasting peace. True it is that she hath

some who preach the glad tidings of great salvation with fervency; but they are few. Satan's empire is very strong

in her. Many have a zeal to subdue his power and plant the Savior's standard on the ruins of his kingdom; but I fear their zeal is not according to knowledge.

So then, there is a wide field open for usefulness here. But here the great question ariseth-Shall this need of faithful laborers preclude us from sending the Gospel to those who have never heard of a Savior? And who shall bear the commission?

Now the first part of this question the Messiah has decided: "Go ye, therefore, and teach all nations; teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you-and lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world." This is peremptory. Let mortals obey. As to the second-Who shall bear this commission? God hath stirred up the hearts of his people to send the Gospel, and they now call on them who love the Savior, to come and be prepared to preach the unsearchable riches of Christ.

I find that my talents might be employed in my native land, and perhaps with success. But I have also observed that the heathen are perishing for lack of vision; and who knows but my talents, though small, might be of much use in building up the cause of God among the gentiles? Christ's command is binding. Go. Now, does the debility of my body prevent me from going, or am I not a chosen vessel to bear his name among the gentiles; or have I a call to some other place? These are questions of so much importance that I dare not hastily decide. O Lord, enable me to sit down and first count up the cost. Direct me according to thy will, then shall I please thee in all things. I have given myself in covenant to thee, therefore am I at thy disposal. Make me useful whether thou sendest me to the heathen or to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. I am weak, but with the weak things of the world thou canst confound the mighty.

20th. Yesterday I parted with a young friend who was very dear to me. He is to enter Union College. I ex

pected to have entered with him, but circumstances forbid. On this account our parting was more tender. If I accept of the missionary call, it is not likely I shall see him again in time.

The call for a young man to go as a missionary to the heathen not giving any particulars, and no society having been formed, I send a copy of the following letter for further information.

*

FREDERICKSBURGH, U. Canada, August, 1822.

SIR,-I feel a little hesitancy in addressing you on the present occasion. This arises not from a distrust in the efficacy of those means which my Lord may please to use for the propagation of his kingdom, but from the anonymous manner in which you call upon the public for a young man to go to the heathen as a missionary. Had your name appeared on behalf of yourself or a society, I could then have spoken with more freedom. But since this is not the case, and as one who has thoughts of offering himself as a candidate, I beg to know how far you intend to assist, and where the youth, who shall be approved, can apply for such instruction as may be necessary to qualify him to preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ.

I shall say but little of myself; it would be vanity. My father is a minister of the Gospel, and perhaps known to yourself. I was lately a student at law; but, for reasons contained in the enclosed certificate, I relinquished the pursuit, and am now desirous of entering as a laborer into the Lord's vineyard. My education is superficial, and I am one of those who consider it necessary to be not only well qualified by human, but also by Divine teaching, in order to declare the whole counsel of God to fallen man.

On a subject of so much importance I cannot think of finally deciding without more extensive information.