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tivity, and the dear parent who has watched over my helpless years and been the guide of my youth. I shall give her many a pang, who has felt and still feels all a mother's tenderness for me. Can it be right to leave her? Is it consistent with the duty, I owe my dear mother? If I know my own heart, it is my fervent desire to act in this important matter, as 1 shall wish I had done, when I shall stand before the judgment seat of Christ. If I have been actuated by improper motives, Oh do thou, who hast all things at thy disposal, place insuperable difficulties in the way, that my contemplated removal may never be effected.

"Chillicothe, Ohio, Aug. 30.

"Since writing the above,I have passed through a variety of scenes; in all of which I have to acknowledge the unmerited goodness of God. His guardian hand has been constantly extended over me and preserved me from every danger. I have entered into the marriage covenant with one, for whose sake, I have left my dear mother, brothers and sister, and all the affectionate friends and companions of my youthful days, and am in a land of strangers. But, although I am separated from many my heart holds dear, yet I have much, very much, to be thankful for. I have a husband who is all that I could wish or expect, and there are those to whom, a short time since I was a stranger, that I already respect and esteem.

I am now in a very responsible situation; not only a wife; but a step-mother. A dear little one is dependant on me for all that care and attention which a mother can bestow. And shall I be able to discharge these important du

ties? O no; of myself I am insufficient, I am daily convinced of it. But there is one who is able to give me all that assistance which I so much need. And I have his blessed promise that I shall receive it, if I rely on him with due submission to his holy will and pleasure"

"Jan. 5, 1823. I have to-day formed a solemn resolution to shake off this spirit of discontent which so easily besets me; and, by the grace of God assisting me, to renounce the things of this vain world and live in some degree to his glory. O that I may receive strength from above to keep this resolution. Heavenly Father, [ cast myself upon thy mercy; graciously grant me thy assistance. Enable me in all circumstances and in all situations, to cast my burden upon thee; and to say from the heart, Not my will but thine be done.""

"Feb. 4. I am grieved that I have broken the resolution I so solemnly made. Though a great part of the time depressed by melancholy, yet God is still showering down blessings upon me. He has graciously condescended to prolong my life, to preserve my health, and to give me many opportunities for secret prayer, which, vile as I am, I prize above all price."

"March 6. A year to-day since I first entertained a hope of being one of those whose sins are washed in the blood of the Lamb. Never shall I forget what I then felt. It was not that joy, which most persons express, when the light of God's countenance first beams upon the soul; but it was a sweet peace, which I cannot describe. But was it a real work of grace upon the heart, or was it a delusion from the wicked one, to lay my conscience asleep, that

?

he might secure me as his prey? My life since that time seems to say the last was the case; but still I hope. Though I have backslidden far, very far, I cannot think I am deceived. A great part of the time, I am groping in thick darkness; yet there are times, when I think I can say, with Thomas, My Lord and my God.' Blessed moments! O may I like Noah's dove find no rest for the sole of my foot, when away from the ark of safety. May I never rest, when I cannot enjoy communion with God. But stop; is it, can it be possible that the most high God stoops to hold communion with a worm of the dust, who has broken his laws and abused his mercy? Yes, it is possible; we are assured of it in his blessed word. Sing praises unto God, O my soul, for this great and astonishing favour. O O sing_praises."

"March 11. O my soul, what provision art thou making for that eternity to which thou art hastening? Time is short. Death stands ready to dissolve thy partnership with this frail body. Soon, very soon, thou must stand before the awful bar of God and answer for the deeds thou hast done and art now doing. Nothing will be forgotten in that solemn dreadful day. It will not then avail thee, that thou hast made a solemn profession of love to God and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. God looks at the heart, and if thou hast only a name to live and art dead, he will say unto thee, 'I never knew thee, depart from me thou cursed into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.' O let this arouse thee from the awful state of stupidity into which thou art fall

en."

"March 30. Again am I permitted to behold the light of another of the days of the Son of man.

Welcome sweet day of rest,

That saw the Lord arise;
Welcome to this reviving breast,
And these rejoicing eyes.'

The weather is so unpleasant that I cannot attend public worship. But shall this blessed day hang heavily on my hands? The word of God is open before me, and shall I not partake of the rich feast which it offers to my fainting soul? How many of my fellow mortals are perishing for this food with which I am so abundantly supplied? To what am I to ascribe this? Is it to any work of righteousness that I have done? O no; I have gone astray ever since I was born, speaking lies. My heart is harder than the nether millstone; callous alike to mercies and judgments. I have broken the law of God and trampled upon his statutes, and it is because he is God and not man that I am not consumed. And what shall I render to thee, O my God, for thy long suffering and compassion? Thy word answers me, love God supremely and thy neighbour as thyself."

"April 6. A year to-day since I commenced this Journal. In, reviewing it, I find no evidence of growth in grace. God has dealt bountifully with me in all things; but I am unthankful. I have done many things which I ought not to have done; and shamefully neglected many more which I knew it was my duty to do. Conscience loudly calls on me to improve the present moment and repent before it is for ever too late. O may I now begin a new life; and if my life is spared through the coming year, may

these pages bear witness that old things are passed away, and that all things are become new."

"June 11. I have this day called on Mrs. S. for the express purpose of telling her the state of my mind, and begging her advice and counsel. She is an experienced, lively christian, capable of directing me in the way in which I ought to go. But how shall I record that criminal backwardness which prevented me from mentioning the subject? In vain I strove to turn the course of conversation from other subjects. I could not bring myself to express the cause of my coming, freely and frankly, as I ought to have done. Is it possible that I am ashamed of Christ and his cause?"

June 12. As for man, his days are as grass. As the flower of the field he flourisheth; the wind passeth over it and it is gone, and the place thereof is remembered no more.' Striking picture of human frailty. A few short days and the hurry and bustle of life are ended. Our bodies rest in the silent mansion of the dead; but, O our souls! they must enter upon a new and untried state. Lives there the man who can contemplate this awful scene with composure? Yes, blessed be God, there are many who look forward to the day in which they shall pass the dark valley of the shadow of death with joy. They view it as the day in which they shall meet a sweet release from all their troubles. Above all, they will then be released from the dominion of sin and be admitted into the presence of their God, where is fulness of joy for evermore.

"Sept. 1. Sabbath morning. The sacrament of the Lord's supper will this day be administered to the church of which I am now a member. It is a

long time since I enjoyed the privilege of uniting with the dear saints in commemorating the dy ing love of the Lord of glory. Do this in remembrance of me,' was his dying command, to allwho through repentance are made partakers of the redemption purchased with his blood. I have long thought the ordinance was denied me, because I was not worthy of receiving the blessed privilege. My life is dreadful, my sins are as mountains. If nothing interposes to-day, to prevent my taking a seat with the followers of the Lamb, will it, can it be my duty? I would give worlds for a Christian friend who would advise me. The two last sacraments appeared to be withheld by the immediate hand of God. It was my earnest desire that they might be, if I should, by coming to the table, dishonour my dear Redeemer. And O God, wilt thou, to whom all things are known, and who hast all things at thy control, still withhold this privilege, if my name is not written among the followers of the Lamb. O let me not pollute thy table, with my unhallowed presence, if I am sold under sin. But, O God, wilt thou greatly bless all those who are worthy and who shall this day assemble around thy board. May they be greatly refreshed by the living food of which they shall partake; and wilt thou fill them with great peace and joy from on high. And wilt thou too remember sinners in Zion with mercy and compassion. Cause them to repent of their sins and turn unto the Lord, before it be forever too late. Look, heavenly Father, with tender mercy on my dear husband. O that thou wouldst give him a new heart and renew a right spirit within him. Let me not,

O God, be a stumbling block in his way. If it can be consistent with thy holy will, let us both live to promote the cause of the dear Redeemer. Even so, Amen." Thus closed her Journal: and whoever shall attentively remark the change which it indicates in the mind of the author, will perhaps discover an interesting sense of her own unworthiness; and an interested engagedness for the salvation of others. And these are traits, illustrative of christian character. The christian knows more of the evil of sin and of the plague of his own heart than others; he is therefore disposed to speak of himself in terms of abasement and selfloathing. But, reader, do not thence conclude, that he is further from true happiness and enjoyment than other men. If any unregenerate person, shall read this journal, let him inquire, whether he ever had peace and joy, lik. t which the writer experience. Do you ask, What was the foundation of her joy? It was God: Loving him supremely, she could hate and abhor her own character, and yet be happy, because her happiness did not flow from the views which she had of herself; but from the views which she had of her God. Soon after recording the last entry in her journal, she was taken sick with the fever of the country. From this attack she never entirely recovered. Her feeble frame was unable to endure the trial which yet awaited her, and on the seventh day of February 1824, she fell asleep, we trust in Jesus, to be for ever with him in glory. Her last illness was short and distressing. Two days before her death, she became very much distressed in view of her sinfulness and stupidity; she thought

she did not realize her own guiltiness before God as she ought. She remained in this state of mind until the evening before she died, when she observed to those, who waited upon her, that she had enjoyed some moments of relief and happiness, and very soon, to use the language of her husband, she became the most composed and happy being I ever saw.' Her physicians had requested that she might be kept as quiet as possible; but it was with great regret, she said,. that she was prevented from talking as much as she pleased. It was the last oppor tunity she should ever enjoy of warning those around her.-The lowest place in heaven was all she desired or expected, and even that was infinitely more than she felt that she deserved. Thus, in the 21st year of her age, died this interesting and pious lady.

Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord.

Attleborough, Feb. 1826.

For the Christian Magazine.
SIN-NOT A PUNISHMENT.

Is not a sin a punishment, since the subject of it must be miserable, according to the divine constitution or nature of things?

I am disposed to answer this question in the negative. For,

1. If sin be a punishment, then punishment and the desert of punishment are the same; which is absurd. Desert of punishment, is as distinct from punishment, as a cause is from its effect. As a cause must exist anterior to its effect, so the desert of punishment must exist anterior to punishment, or else it is unjust. Could God have punished Adam before he deserved punishment? Could he have deserved it before he

And it can be owing to nothing but criminal stupidity, or infidelity, that any overlook the hand of God, in what they suffer or enjoy. The prophet reproves Belshazzar for disregarding the care, protection and goodness of his Creator. "The God in whose hand thy breath is, and whose are all thy ways, hast thou not glorified." Whether men are rich or poor, whether they are prosperous, or unprosperous; whether they are in health or sickness; whether their friends, relatives and connexions are spared or taken away, they ought to acknowledge the hand of God in all his dispensations towards them. And this acknowledgment implies something more than a mere speculative belief, that all the good and evil that falls to their lot, comes through the overruling hand of God. Multitudes are willing to say in words, and they believe what they say, that God governs the world and directs all events, prosperous and adverse; and yet neither realize nor love this most interesting truth. They feel and act, rejoice or mourn, hope or fear, as though God were not in all their thoughts. But Job realized and approved of the divine agency under his afflictions. He felt and enjoyed this consoling and humiliating truth. He said, "Shall we receive good at the hand of the Lord, and shall we not receive evil? And again he said, "Though he slay me yet will I trust in him." He felt himself to be in the hands of God, as clay is in the hands of the potter. And thus it becomes all men to acknowledge, with deep sensibility, that it is God who gives or takes away their comforts and enjoy ments, and who raises them up, or casts them down by his holy

and sovereign hand. Nor is this all. For,

II. They ought to bless, as well as acknowledge God, under both the smiles and frowns of his providence. Job acknowledged, that God had given and taken away, and then adds what is still more important, "Blessed be the name of the Lord." He blessed God in taking away, as well as in granting his favours, though the taking away was extremely distressing and paintul. in this it is said "he sinned not," but felt and conducted right. He ought to have blessed God under both the smiles and frowns of his providence. And what was his duty in his situation, is the duty of the bereaved and afflicted, in all other similar cases. For,

And

1. God never takes away any favours from mankind, but what he meant to take away when he gave them. It is true, he does not inform the subjects of his mercies, how long he intends to continue, or how soon he intends to take away his favours; but he always determines in his own mind, before he bestows any blessing, how long that blessing shall continue, and whether it shall or shall not be removed during life. As he always has some purpose to answer by every good gift, so when that good gift has answered the purpose for which it was given, he takes it away, and not before. So that he acts from the same benevolent motive in taking away, as in be stowing his favours. Could we see his motives in giving, could see his motives in taking away; and of course, could see the same goodness in taking away as in giving. He never bestows the least favour upon any individual of the human race, without weighing

we

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