Gambar halaman
PDF
ePub

indeed. They might be brought to it, if they had not thought that they had it already, when they have it not.

Tit. 5. The Counterfeits of Christian Love.

Count. 1. It is but counterfeit love to Christians, when they are loved only for being of the common religion of the country, and the same that you say you are of yourselves: as one Mahometan loveth another.

Count. 11. Or to love one only sect or party of Christians, which you espouse as the only party or church; and not to love a Christian as a Christian, and so to love all true Christians whom you can discern to be such.

Count. III. To love only those Christians who are your kindred or relations, or those that have been some way benefactors to you.

Count. IV. To love Christians only for their familiarity, or kind and loving conversation, and civil, obliging deportment among men.

Count. v. To love them only because they are learned, or have better wits and abilities of speech, in preaching, prayer, or conference than others.

Count. vi. To love them only upon the praise which common commendations may sometimes give them, and for being magnified by fame, and well spoken of by all men. Thus many wicked men do love the saints departed, when they hate those that are alive among them.

Count. VII. To love them only for being godly in themselves at a distance, so they will not trouble them with their godliness; while they love not those that reprove them, and would draw them to be as godly.

Count. VIII. To love them only for suffering with them in the same cause. Thus a profane person taken by the Turks, may love his fellow captives who refuse to renounce Christ. And thus a sufferer for an ill cause, or in an erroneous sect, may love those that suffer with him above others.

Count. IX. To love them only for holding strict and right opinions, while they will not endure to live accordingly : thus many love the light that cannot bear the heat and motion: many love an orthodox person, of a sound judgment,

that is against looseness and profaneness in his opinion, and do not like the folly of the licentious, who yet like licentious practice best.

Count. x. To love them for some parts of godliness only, while some other essential part will not be endured (of which before).

Count. XI. To love them in a kind fit only, as Saul with tears professed to do his son David; but to have no habitual constant love.

Count. XII. Lastly, to love godly men a little, and the world and fleshly interest more; to love them only so as will cost them nothing; to wish them fed, but not to feed them, and to wish them clothed, but not to clothe them, and to wish them out of prison, but not to dare to visit them for fear of suffering themselves. He that hath this world's goods, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up the bowels of his compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him: surely if the love of his brother were in him, the love of God had been in him. But he that hath no true love to his brother, that will only love him on terms that cost him little, and not give and suffer for his love. All these are deceiving counterfeits of love to the children of God.

Tit. 6. Cases and Directions for Intimate, Special Friends.

Quest. 1. Is it lawful to have an earnest desire to be loved by others? Especially by some one person above all other?'

Answ. There is a desire of others' love which is lawful, and there is a desire which is unlawful.

I. It is lawful, 1. When we desire it as it is their duty, which God himself obligeth them to perform, and so is part of their integrity, and is their own good, and pleaseth God; so parents must desire their children to love them, and one another, because it is their duty, and else they are unnatural and bad; and husband and wife may desire that each other discharge that duty of love which God requireth, and so may all others. 2. It is lawful also to desire for our own sakes to be loved by others; so be it, it be, (1.) With a calm and sober desire, which is not eager, peremptory, or importu

nate, nor overvalueth the love of man. (2.) According to the proportion of our own worth; not desiring to be thought greater, wiser, or better, than indeed we are, nor to be loved erroneously by an overvaluing love. 3. When we desire it for the benefits to which it tendeth, more than to be valued and loved ourselves; as, (1.) That we may receive that edification and good from a friend, which love disposeth them to communicate. (2.) That we may do that good to our friends, which love disposeth them to receive. (3.) That we may honour and please God, who delighteth in the true love and concord of his children.

II. But the unlawful desire of others' love to us, is much more common, and is a sin of a deeper malignity than is commonly observed. This desire of love is sinful, when it is contrary to that before described; as, 1. When we desire it over eagerly. 2. When we desire it selfishly and proudly, to be set up in the good opinion of others; and not to make a benefit of it to ourselves or them; but our own honour is more desired in it, than the honour of God. 3. When we desire to be thought greater, wiser, or better than we are, and to be loved with such an overvaluing love; and have no desire that the bounds of truth and usefulness should restrain and limit that love to us which we affect. 4. When it is an erroneous, fanciful, carnal, or lustful esteem of some one person, which maketh us desire his love more than others. As because he is higher, richer, fairer, &c.

This eager desire to be overloved by others, hath in it all these aggravations. 1. It is the very sin of pride, which God hath declared so great a detestation of. For pride is an overvaluing ourselves, for greatness, wisdom, or goodness, and a desire to be so overvalued of others. And he that would be overloved, would be overvalued.

2. It is self-idolizing; when we would be loved as better than we are, we rob God of that love which men should render to him, who can never be overloved, and we would fain seem a kind of petty deities to the world, and draw men's eyes and hearts unto ourselves. When we should be jealous of God's interest and honour, lest we or any creature should have his due, this proud disposition maketh people set up themselves in the estimation of others, and

they scarce care how good or wise they are esteemed; nor how much they are lifted up in the hearts of others.

3. It is an injurious insnaring the minds of others, and tempting them to erroneous opinions of us, and affections to us; which will be their sin, and may bring them into many inconveniencies. It is an ordinary thing to do greater hurt to a friend whom we value, by insnaring him in an inordinate love, than ever he did or can do to an enemy by hating him.

[ocr errors]

Quest. 11. Is it lawful, meet or desirable to entertain that extraordinary affection to any one, which is called special friendship, or to have an endeared, intimate friend, whom we love far above all others?'

Answ. Intimate, special friendship is a thing that hath been so much pleaded for by all sorts of men, and so much of the felicity of man's life hath been placed in it, that it beseemeth not me to speak against it. But yet I think it meet to tell you with what cautions and limits it must be received, and how far it is good, and how far sinful; (for there are perils here to be avoided, which neither Cicero, nor his Scipio and Lælius were acquainted with).

I. 1. It is lawful to choose some one well qualified person, who is fittest for that use, and to make him the chief companion of our lives; our chiefest counsellor and comforter, and to confine our intimacy and converse to him in a special manner above all others. 2. And it is lawful to love him not only according to his personal worth, but according to his special suitableness to us, and to desire his felicity accordingly, and to exercise our love to him more frequently and sensibly (because of his nearness and presence) than towards some better men that are further off.

The reasons of such an intimate friendship are these, 1. No man is sufficient for himself, and therefore nature teacheth them to desire an helper. And there is so wonderful a diversity of temperaments and conditions, and so great a disparity and incongruity among good and wise men, towards each other, that one that is more suitable and congruous to us than all the rest, may on that account be much preferred.

2. It is not many that can be so near us as to be ordinary helpers to us: and a wiser man at a distance or out of

reach, may be less useful to us, than one of inferior worth at hand.

3. The very exercise of friendly love and kindness to another is pleasant: and so it is to have one to whom we may confidently reveal our secrets, to bear part of our burden, and to confirm us in our right apprehensions, and to cure us of wrong ones.

4. And it is no small benefit of a present bosom friend, to be instead of all the world to us; that is, of common, unprofitable company: for man is a sociable creature, and abhorreth utter solitude. And among the common sort, we shall meet with so much evil, and so little that is truly wise or good, as will tempt a man to think that he is best when he is least conversant with mankind. But a selected friend is to us for usefulness instead of many, without these common incumbrances and snares.

5. And it is a great part of the commodity of a faithful friend, to be assisted in the true knowledge of ourselves : to have one that will watch over us, and faithfully tell us of the sin, and danger, and duty, which we cannot easily see without help, and which other men will not faithfully acquaint us with.

II. But yet it is rare to choose and use this friendship rightly; and there are many evils here to be carefully avoidThe instances shall be mentioned anon in the Directions, and therefore now passed by.

ed.

[merged small][ocr errors][merged small]

2.

Answ. 1. Usually one only is meetest: 1. Because love diffused is often weak, and contracted is more strong. Because secrets are seldom safe in the hands of many. 3. Because suitable persons are rare. 4. And though two or three may be suitable to you, yet perhaps they may be unsuitable among themselves. And the calamities of their own disparities will redound to you; and their fallings out may turn to the betraying of your secrets, or to some other greater wrong.

2. But yet sometimes two or three such friends may be better than one alone. 1. In case they be all near and of an approved suitableness and fidelity. 2. In case they be all suitable and endeared to one another. 3. If a man live

« SebelumnyaLanjutkan »