it. Oh! that I may, through faithfulness on my part, attain the like again, and that my last day may be my best day. But alas, a consciousness of unfaithfulness in divers respects is my present companion, though not with my will or by design; but through want of maintaining a proper vigilance and devotion, and thereby losing the fortitude which I have sometimes been invested with.

Many of our dear, honorable Friends of the first generation in our Society, appear, from the time they were drawn to the pure fountain of light, life and love, to have adhered thereto with immovable steadfastness to their last moments; and a few I have known in my time who have arisen and steadily persevered, considering the degeneracy of the age, in a faithful attachment of soul to that grace and truth which is come by Jesus Christ; and that have washed their robes white in his blood, and have kept their garments unspotted. But very few have come up to this height, and so continued as with their feet fixed upon Mount Sion; very few have got over the opposing mountains of human respect, selfish regards, sensual appetites, desires of the ease, honors or profits of this world; all which tend to debase the soul, darken the judgment, eclipse the brightness of heavenly light; blunt the edge of godly resolutions, and contract the corrupting leaven and spirit of the world.

It is lamentable to reflect how many in our age, even of the anointed sons and servants of the Lord, have by these means gradually declined and dwindled, and at length totally fallen off, as Judas did from Christ, and Demas from his faithful apostle, and made shipwreck of faith and of a good conscience, and brought lasting disgrace on themselves and that good cause in which they had been humbly and honestly engaged. Yet truth

changes not; it is the same still, and still able to preserve from falling, to build up, and to give an inheritance among the sanctified.

I remember that the above considerations made me earnestly pray, that since I had given up, and put my hand to the plough, I might never look back to Sodom again, like Lot's wife; but rather suffer anything in this world than disgrace the cause of truth and righteousness.

Encouraged as above, I proceeded to minister in public meetings, when I had something given for that end, through which exercise my gift became gradually enlarged. But alas! I too often made false steps in my public ministry, as well as in my thoughts, words and actions in private conduct, for want of self-love being more mortified and subjected to the spirit of Christ, which teaches divine wisdom.

Being of an active natural disposition, it became a cross to me to be silent, when it was best to be so. And sometimes after I stood up I continued too long, till the testimony as to the life of it, flattened and grew tedious to the hearers. I wanted too, to imitate some others, who I thought preached finely. Thus the enemy of man's happiness continually seeks to tempt every class in the church militant. As the eye is kept single to the holy Head, and the body full of light, in the light he is discovered in all his approaches and transformations; but I was not constantly enough on my guard against his stratagems, and therefore was sometimes seduced even to think I did well, when I was zealous, though not according to true knowledge, nor to the honor of the great name of Christ our Lord; for he is most honored by the subjection of self; and by divine love, coupled with humility and patience.

Among the many good institutions which the discoveries of celestial wisdom have established in our Society, is that of faithful elders appointed to watch over the flock, and over the ministry, which has been found to be very useful. And though the love of self-honor made me sometimes bear hardly the reproof of a friend; yet I have afterwards, as in the cool of the day, discerned the expediency of it, and been induced to desire to be more careful in future, and to be willing to receive advice, as well as to give it.

Oh ye, whom Christ calls into the work of the ministry, or any other office, give up your lives to him and it, both to do and to suffer what he may order or permit; for the vessels of the Lord's house are to be of beaten gold. Every son whom he loves he rebukes and chastens. Then ever receive with a good mind the counsel or the reproof of a friend.

If others revile and taunt in bitterness and wrath; in haughtiness and insult, as whoever will live godly in Christ Jesus, must suffer persecution; yet all things will work together for good to them that steadily abide under Christ's government. Our nature having in it much dross, and by long habit contracting an increase of it, cannot be refined from it, but by fiery trials, nor have its evil humors purged out, but by drinking the bitter cup. Applause pleases the creature, but greatly endangers it. Suffering in spirit, though more painful, is more safe.

Oh then, ye who have rightly begun and favorably advanced in the work of truth, or of the ministry, look well to your standing, and guard against the transformations of your unwearied enemy. When we first began, our single view and desire was to obtain divine approbation,

and that peace of soul, which results from it; to die to ourselves and all the world; to know no man after the flesh, nor be known by them; but only to know the Lord, and to walk and act under his immediate notice and approving favor. But afterwards there hath mingled herewith the desire of human notice, of popular applause, of worldly advantages and indulgences.

Thus some ministers, as well as others, who have given up their names to follow the Lamb, have slipped into a mixed state. In them the spring once pure, hath become muddy, and the sacred fervor hath dwindled. Though they have retained the form of godliness, yet its conquering power and fortitude have gradually died away, and left them as weak and unable to resist temptations as those who have never assumed that form.

This has been the case of many dry worldlings and sensualists in our Society, who, far from helping the cause, which they professed a value for, have greatly hurt it, and given a handle to libertines to make both it and them the subject of their derision.

When the humble regard and love of God singly presided in my heart, then I have been disposed to receive the advice or the rebuke of a friend, in the love in which it was given, and to bear with Christian meekness the taunts and insults of insensible hearts and unguarded lips, undisturbed thereby; but when I have slidden off this foundation, then they have discomposed my mind, and agitated it with selfish and uneasy resentments.

I have not so often met with this kind of returns to my ministry, as applause, which indeed is an intoxicating and pernicious cup for any to drink without great fear. It raises the spirits with a false alacrity; elevates the mind with self-conceit, and an imagined superiority to

others; leads into an evil emulation, and even to slight those who are in a much better state, dwelling in the valley of humility, subject to Christ, the beloved of their souls.

It is hard for the creature not to be pleased with praise, and to offer it to him to whom alone it is due; or, after being at any time signally honored, to return like Mordecai, dismounted, stripped of the royal robes, and to sit in a silent, abject condition, at the King's gate, waiting on Him in poverty of spirit.

As applause is dangerous, so the affections of the people, if not kept under proper government, both by the minister and his hearers, have a snare in them, as indeed hath every object of our senses, without maintaining an inward watchfulness; these things not being the proper mark or prize of a minister or a Christian. It is base to play the harlot with corrupt self, and deck it with the Lord's jewels. For if we take these rewards of our labors, we are in danger of losing that which He gives to the faithful, which is the one true and durable reward.

The spirit of the gospel directs us to submit ourselves, or give way, one to another, to be abased, and prefer others; the strong to take the weak by the hand, and all to imitate the holy pattern of Christ, who was meek and lowly in heart, and stooped to wash the feet even of his disciples and servants.

It was he by his Spirit, who not only raised up a living ministry in our Society, but by the same Spirit animated our faithful predecessors to establish a salutary discipline therein, upon the same foundation; and raised up and gifted men and women for valuable services, conducing to the edification and strengthening of one another in piety. Often have I sat in meetings of discipline greatly