Gambar halaman
PDF
ePub

self would much regret his absence, yet he could not in conscience consent to keep any longer such talents in obscurity, and therefore had consented to yield him up to the College of Dublin, where his good friend Lord Ghad appointed him one of the principal librarians. The unsuspecting Leandro thanked him for his goodness, yet frankly avowed that he preferred abiding in the duke's family, where the friendship he bore his pupil so firmly bound him. This was rather too candid for so worldly a man as the duke, who, judging by himself, thought no one viewed an offer but through the optics of self-interest: he very cavalierly demanded if feelings of a tenderer nature had not some share in his choice; and then, as he quitted the apartment rather haughtily, bade him prepare for an early departure. Enraged at the sus→ picions, and more so at the manner, of his patron, Leandro sat down to write a refusal of the proffered bounty. While thus engaged, and in taking an affectionate leave of his amiable pupil, who lamented their separation as the greatest evil that could befal him, his Grace entered the room, and forgetting the dignity of his usual manner, furiously abused Leandro for having stolen the affections of both his daughters, desiring him instantly to quit the house. In vain were Leandro's excuses and assertions, or the Lord Basil's entreaties and mediations, the duke would not listen to reason. At that instant lady Amaranth entered, and forgetful of her wonted haughtiness, advanced to the duke and begged to be heard. "Your Grace's violence

has drawn this alternative from me: had you not revealed my affection to its object, although it could never be extinguished, yet would I have chosen a more delicate and worthy manner of offering myself to Leandro; as it is, being of age and independent in fortune by the will of my aunt, I choose him from the rest of the world, and if he will, offer myself and my possessions to his acceptance, as a refuge against those ills your Grace's anger would infallibly draw upon him." No threats, no supplications could make the lady alter this determination: opposition served only to strengthen her resolution; and pride being once subdued, love rendered her firm and eloquent. To conclude, the duke not giving his consent, she eloped with her lover, and they were married; but they lived not so happily as might have been expected from his gratitude and her disinterested love. He made mistresses of his books and study;-she expected constant homage and attention, and was jealous of their attraction; gratitude was a word abhorred by her; she wanted to be loved for herself alone, (oh! the folly of that constant mistake) and when Leandro generously waved his own predilection to accompany her to scenes of amusement and festivity, she accused herself of vanity and selfishness, and tormented them both with fears of his being weary and dissatisfied. Thus was I born the offspring of pride and passion; of generous yet luxurious and wilful spirits, which combined have doubtless formed the strange admixture that pervades my composition; constant aspirations

after the good and glorious things of our nature, yet eternally deviating into a selfish, tyrannical, and debasing conduct. But whatever misgivings might exist in my parents' minds, of their not forming each other's perfect happiness, with regard to me, there were none: I was a constant theme of delight and admiration to both. My father, from my earliest childhood, sought to inspire me with love and veneration for his darling poets. My mother, herself most beautiful and majestic, would sit for hours recounting to me tales of magnificence and luxury that might have rivalled the Arabian Nights' Entertainments. Doubtless, my pride and egotism were increased by these methods; and thus I went on until my tenth year, when a malignant fever carried off my father in less than a week, leaving me solely to the care of a mother, who suffered neither constraint nor opposition to reach the image of her beloved Leandro, (for so her fondness deemed me), although, judging from my subsequent conduct, I may be supposed rather to resemble her faulty character than my father's amiable tendencies. At the age of twenty, I was as perfectly initiated in the town as most young men are at a much later period. Not contented with being flattered and courted by the females of lady Amaranth's acquaintance, I kept an opera dancer, who despised and jilted me. My hunters were spoiled by friends; my money and credit borrowed by sharpers and impostors. But for occasional. visits to my father's books and their better influence, I must unavoidably have degenerated into the lowest

and merest profligacy. When I came of age, my mother put me in possession of her large fortune, reserving only to herself an annuity, which deprived her of all her former state and splendour. I would fain have had this arrangement otherwise; but she was steady, and assured nie, that she with pleasure resigned her wealth in aid of my enjoyments, but hoped I would shortly lay aside the follies of my youth, and become more worthy the father I resembled. This was the first time she had ever expressed any disapprobation of my conduct; and, unused to advice or censure, I bore this first essay very impatiently; but when she further recommended my choosing a wife of her acquaintance, I testified my dislike to her counsel in no very dutiful terms, and we parted mutually dissatisfied and unreasonable. You will naturally suppose, that this addition to my fortune tended not to diminish my career of vice and folly. On the contrary, they increased proportionably; and being weary of my French mistress, quitted her in pursuit of an actress, whose wantonness and extravagance surpassed that of the other's; yet had she the art so effectually to persuade me of her undivided attachment, that I purchased her favours at a rate little less splendid than had she been the enchantress of Egypt, even when my faith became shaken as to her fidelity when I discovered her to be cold and heartless

-I still continued lavishly to contribute to her vanity and insolence, because she was the fashion, and because my idle companions envied me her possession,

My vanity was gratified in hearing it said, that no one drove so dashing an equipage, or displayed such a blaze of jewels. In short, as she grew haughty and exacting, and cold and ungenerous, by a perversity of my nature, I attached myself more firmly to her, until I was roused from this fool's paradise by a warning from my agent and steward, informing me, that my fortune would not much longer endure such repeated attacks as my profusion demanded. Annabella (so was my mistress named) being apprised of my dilemma, with great indifference offered to free me from the expence of her establishment, and to accept an offer made her by an acquaintance of mine, whom I both hated and envied. Rather than give him this triumph, I proffered selling the reversion of lady Amaranth's jointure, and continuing our connexion. The artful woman then pretended that this plan of our separation had been suggested by her anxiety for me: but from that period, knowing this resource would soon be exhausted, she daily diminished in even the shew of affection for me; whilst I, on the contrary, having of necessity contracted many of my other pleasures, haunted her dwelling and society in search of the amusement and excitement I lacked otherwise.

By degrees our splendid mansion dwindled into elegant apartments; and these were exchanged for smaller and less convenient lodgings. Annabella, under pretence of theatrical engagements, was much abroad, consorting with my richer and now sneering

« SebelumnyaLanjutkan »