III. Religion is a thing of state concern, and there is but one true faith for the time being, which all are bound, by Act of Parliament, to believe. Those who will not believe have no right to share in the institutions or privileges which they contribute by purse and person to support, no matter whether they constitute nine-tenths, or only onetenth of the population.

IV. If a man advocate a cause, it is immaterial whether he believe it or not, still less whether he act up to the precept he inculcates. A drunkard may teach sobriety, because the virtue lieth in what is said, not in what is done, for what is said may be efficacious, separate from example.

V. There is no solitary virtue any where out of England. Scotland approximates nearest to it in purity and honesty. Ireland, save and except a few Protestant priests and Orangemen, is destitute of all the humanities, a dreg of nations.

VI. All Frenchmen are knaves.

VII. All Frenchwomen are loose characters.

VIII. London porter is better than Burgundy.

IX. English law practice is the best and purest in the world, surpassing law itself, which is the perfection of human wisdom.

X. Money is the great thing needful; therefore, he that has the largest purse is the most respectable member of society.

XI. England is the model of morality for other nations,—not so much marked in London saloons and theatres, in its alleys and bagnfos, it is true; but as vice must exist somewhere, it is better it should congregate in known places, and keep to them. Thus little or no immorality exists elsewhere in the British dominions.

XII. He who steals a purse is a thief, and must be hanged. He who fills a public office and thieves, does but peculate, and is merely a debtor. He who is a trustee and squanders the all of the widow and orphan, is only unfortunate in business. He who holds back the property of the dead father from his family, and suffers the members of it to starve in the streets, is a most discriminating judge in Chancery; and such a suit remaining undecided for fifty years is a public benefit.

XIII. Our aristrocacy is the most disinterested body of men upon earth, seeing they legislate for themselves alone, and have decreed that corn shall be under ten pounds sterling a quarter.

XIV. No stranger shall be suffered with impunity to find fault with the rulers of this kingdom. John Bull. himself retains the right of growling at them in his own person.

XV. Hard labour and coarse measures are allowable to all in moneygetting, even to his Grace of St. Alban's.

XVI. A full purse should place all characters upon an equality.

XVII. Gin, whisky, and ale, are purer, better, and more nutritive beverages than any country can boast besides England. Yet, with such tempting luxuries in vice, we are still the most sober, moral, religious, discreet people on the face of the earth.

XVIII. Crockford's private subscription-house is a den of thieves ; the Stock Exchange public subscription-house is the haunt of honest

men.

XIX. The fashion of the day is the truest taste in all things, and Mr. Nash therefore is the model for all architects, and his new palace the British Louvre.

XX. The Royal Exchange forms the noblest symposion the world ever saw : Rothschild is its Solomon, and Sir William Curtis its So

crates.

XXI. Heavy loans are proofs of national prosperity; or how could they be raised?

XXII. Sir Harcourt Lees and Lord Farnham are the Jachin and Boaz, the two great brazen pillars that support religion and liberty in Ireland; pull them away, and down must fall Church and State.

XXIII. Waltzing is a gross German dance, quadrilling a finical French hop; the only true step becoming an English female is the merry hornpipe, and boisterous hop, skip, and jump of our good mothers. They will soon be corrupted by these foreign usages, as they are in dress from the same sources, and as they will soon be in principles, unless they return to the defences of wholesome stomachers and hoop-petticoats.

XXIV. Our law is the most glorious in the world; for it flings a thousand protections around the guilty, but never permits the innocent man to go unscathed from its clutches, either in person or purse; the law is right, knowing its best friends and consulting their welfare.

XXV. It is a great virtue to be in the possession of a plum. He that has two is doubly great, but he that hath ten deserves canonization.

XXVI. Piety and prelacy are not necessarily conjunct; the most pious are not to expect elevation on that account. They are to console themselves that virtue is its own reward. State religion, it is meet, should be regulated by state reasons: thus Blomfield's Greek may silence Kaye's piety. Polemical pens are more useful to statesmen than those of piety and virtue: they may intimidate if they cannot attract; bully if they cannot convince; sophisticate if they cannot reason; and to the politician, what matters it as long as his ends are gained!

XXVII. Brother Jonathan is ungrateful to one who has dealt him out such manifold favours as Brother Bull: he has no right to tax British goods, though John taxes his tobacco a thousand fold; for he is a younger son in the family.

XXVIII. Silver forks are a French innovation. The good old steel fork with two prongs should not be given up; he who says it should discourages our old customs, and is an enemy to his country's prosperity. What matters convenience when so much is at stake!

XXIX. Always take off your hat to a lord; bow low to a baronet, and draw back your left foot; nod respectfully to a squire, if of your acquaintance, and slap a friend on the shoulders hard enough to stun

an ox.

XXX. Give way servilely to superiors where your interest is concerned; pride can't coin money. Where no interest interferes, be humble to a superior, because chance may produce a remote benefit from an unexpected quarter. Where you are certain no benefit can ever accrue to your interests, ride the "high horse," and be lord yourself, especially with a poor tenant having a large family, or with a humble dependent.

XXXI. Never affront the parson of the parish; for unless he be one of those excellent men in the church, of whom we hear little because they do much good, he will never forgive you.

XXXII. Go regularly to church, it is a good example. You need not think about what is going on there. You may calculate your crops, or number your debtors, in a pew as well as by your own fire-side; and the good name you obtain will amply repay the constraint of sitting an hour under the minister. This is the substance of nine-tenths of modern religion.

XXXIII. If you want game, always buy it of a poacher. To save money every way is the first law of existence in England. If he be tried and you are on the jury, be sure to bring him in guilty, for poaching is the parent of a thousand crimes. Thanks to the House of Lords, notwithstanding, you will never be without a stock of poachers, and hares and partridges may always be obtained.

XXXIV. Always lend your money to your friends who ask, if they can produce security. Never give alms in secret, but only in public, like her Grace of St. Alban's :-it will not repay interest. A donation to a hospital may come back in articles of trade ordered of you, therefore always give when the names of the donors are to be published in the newspapers, not else.

XXXV. It is only the good or bad name the world gives to any thing that makes it virtuous or vicious.

XXXVI. After you set out on foreign travel and reach Calais, muster your best stock of execrations, and curse all you see till Dover pier be in sight again.

XXXVII. If you can speak a few sentences of French, tell every man you meet that his country is a villainous one to your own, and you are half starved for want of roast beef, or a leg of mutton and trimmings.

XXXVIII. When you are at the Louvre, swear it is not equal to Kensington Palace.

XXXIX. Swear that Liston is the best comic actor, and Reynolds the best comic writer the world ever saw, and that Potier and Moliere are shoe-blacks to them.

XL. Tell the Italian that his climate and St. Peter's are poor substitutes for Dolly's and St. Paul's, and that there is not a brave man or virtuous woman from the Po to Otranto.

XLI. Never believe your own eyes, if they see any thing which contravenes your opinions.

XLII. Judge men by their party; for if opposed to your's they cannot be honest.

XLIII. Virtue in rags will never return a profit for clothing her: bearing up the train of high-born vice pays better:-there can be no hesitation which to do.

XLIV. Keep your servants at a due distance, and learn to respect yourself: dogs, servants, and horses must know their stations, and be made to feel their inferiority.

There are a hundred more of these maxims in my possession, which I may some day or other present to the reader, in addition to the foregoing. It is to be hoped John Bull will receive the moral they convey with a due sense of obligation. I would only administer to him a gentle corrective.

ON PROVERBS.

PROVERBS, forsooth, as we have often been informed, present us with the collective wisdom of ages; and hence these oracular aphorisms are cited on all occasions of difficulty in the affairs of life when special prudence is required. How often is a "good old maxim" introduced with, as I remember my grandfather used to say," made to supply the place of rational argument; and how often are portions of this collected wisdom of antiquity forced upon the listener's ears, even in despite of that which a conscientious man should never yield up,-his own heartfelt conviction! For my part, I have often been inclined to think that there is scarcely any proverb, (excepting instances of ultra truism and platitude,) which, with reference to its prevalent acceptation, may not admit of being disputed; and that to such despotic sentences a degree of power has been accredited, which for centuries has been unduly" increasing, and ought to be diminished." Elia should have paid more attention to this question; and probably it would have induced him to continue his instructive expositions of "Popular Errors." "Prosperity gains friends, and Adversity tries them." I know not any one in the whole dictionary of proverbs which is a greater favourite than this, or of which the accuracy is considered more unimpeachable; and yet, a little calm reasoning on the subject may perhaps place it in a very different light. Every day, however, are not these words repeated? and by how many hundreds, perhaps thousands of wiseacres, each of whom shakes his head in ominous preparation, groans inwardly, and exclaims " Umph! It is indeed a wicked world; no such thing as real attachment to be hoped for: as my worthy old aunt Deborah used to say, Prosperity gains friends, and Adversity tries them!"" The listener generally groans also; or, if he be a classical scholar, chimes in with " Donec felix eram," &c.; and the decision of Antiquity is once more corroborated.

In order perfectly to comprehend any such aphorism, it is necessary to propose two questions. First, What are the real spirit, drift, tendency and effects of the dogma? Secondly, How is it illustrated by examples in real life? On the present occasion, I should be inclined to say, in answer to the first question, that the favourite adage just now quoted is in spirit and tendency ungenerous, crabbed, severe, and misanthropical; while the individuals by whom it is most frequently repeated, are narrow-minded, chickenhearted, discontented grumblers; finally, with regard to the effects produced, one bad consequence is directly involved, viz. that of heaping blame on the heads of respectable people who do not deserve it.

As to the second question of illustrative examples, such as may here be considered cases in point, these are indeed numberless; all of course bear a close resemblance one to another, and generally the story may be abridged within a narrow space. We shall take one of those instances which most frequently occur. A young gentleman happens to possess a fortune of some fifteen (or twenty) thousands per annum. He himself is gifted also with buoyant spirits, good convivial talents, and a generous heart. Consequently, he freely invites his connexions and acquaintances to share in his prosperity, and assist him in those enjoyments which for a selfish recluse would have little zest, indeed could scarcely exist at all. Doubtless, there will be no want of individuals ready to accept his invitations, to partake with him the pleasures of the festive board, of the ball-room, the private theatre, the concert, the chace, the regatta, the quiet ride through the magnificent park, (I speak of living in the country,) with all other advantages and amusements incidental to his situation. So " Prosperity gains friends," and thus far the maxim literally interpreted is a mere truism; but from the spirit in which it is usually understood, a very different meaning is elicited; we are taught to believe that the young gentleman's visitors are, forsooth, all vile mercenaries, whose attention and regard are absolutely purchased by the boons which directly or indirectly his prosperity enables him to bestow upon them! That this may have happened in the world, it were

needless to deny; but in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, I would maintain that the truth is far otherwise, and that the guests collected round our young Squire's table are almost without exception, sincere and attached friends; that every one among them, as he quaffs his glass of iced-Sillery during a luxurious dinner of turtle and venison, looks exultingly, kindly and sympathizingly towards his host; while the party might unanimously affirm that the wine, the viands, the fine mansion, the concerts, plays, and park scenery, would be comparatively devoid of all attraction, were not such agremens enhanced by the sunshine of enjoyment which beams in their worthy host's countenance, his ready wit, his jocund laugh, and sparkling eyes, which every where diffuse an influence of happiness around him! And yet these, forsooth, are neither sincere nor attached friends! On the contrary, I am ready to demonstrate by indisputable evidence that they are so; that they are devoted to him in heart, word, and deed; for actually there is not one of the whole crew, mercenary and base as the discontented misanthrope would represent them to be, who is capable of uttering a single expression likely to injure the feelings of his amiable entertainer; and so far is their good-will from being merely passive, that not one among them would refuse to gallop full speed, or to walk in morocco slippers to the land's end, if he were convinced that by so doing, he should in reality contribute to the worldly weal of his excellent friend, the hospitable Squire, who is now in possession of property yielding a clear fifteen or twenty thousand per an

num.

But a change comes; it may have been gradual in its progress, so that in a course of eight or ten years, the income of fifteen thousand has been re duced to fifteen hundred, and this also sorely "bespoke;" or the change may happen in a single night at a splendid house in St. James's-street, and the said £15,000 converted all at once into £0 0 0. In either case, prospe rity, no doubt, is alternated for adversity; and now, says the adage, “friends are tried;" that is to say, because the hospitable squire, after these untoward occurrences, is deserted, as in all probability he must be, by his former acquaintances, we are to understand that they have been weighed and found wanting;-" ainsi va le monde;" they are base, wicked people, who deserve every expression of censure and contumely which can be directed against them, as despicable parasites, mere summer friends, who are willing to batten in the sunshine of prosperity, but who invariably rat and run away if the sun gets under a cloud or the house is about to fall. Now, really, this is too bad. It is "silly soothe" if intended in earnest; and that it is so intended, the grave repetition and application of the favourite adage surely affords sufficient proof. Is friendship, then, a principle so peculiarly abstract, so refined, so ethereal, and indefinable, that it can exist without any intelligible ground to rest upon? I don't comprehend how any such doctrine can be good even in theory, but in practice it will never do! Friendship must unquestionably be founded on congeniality of character,-on uniformity of sentiments, feelings, and pursuits; thence it naturally arises, and on this basis it is a principle both rational and likely to be lasting; but destroy that foundation, and it must of necessity be at an end. The friends who "flattered, followed, sought, and sued," in prosperity, must, when adversity comes, retire disappointed, shocked, and confounded. I do affirm that such conduct not only is inseparable from, and inherent in human nature, but that it would be impossible for them, as true friends, to act otherwise, any more than (though I admit the comparison is far-fetched) it would be pos sible for a lover to continue his affection towards a mistress after he had discovered that, instead of possessing a fine bloom and elegant shape, she was painted and padded; or that, instead of being a good-humoured docile girl, she was a discontented, fractious, and obstinate shrew.

Let us examine this question a little farther, and try it by the immutable test of truth. There is no law by which a friend, once acknowledged, must (like a wife) of necessity be taken "for better and worse." The good people, whether male or female, who are stigmatized with the names of parasites,