well to the proper places, that in three minutes the fire was wholly extinguished, and the rest of that noble pile, which had coft fo many ages in erecting, preferved from deftruction. It was now daylight, and I returned to my houfe, without waiting to congratulate with the emperor; becaufe, although I had done a very eminent piece of fervice, yet I could not tell how his majesty might refent the manner by which I had performed it: for, by the fundamental laws of the realm, it is capital in any perfon, of what quality foever, to make water within the precincts of the palace. But I was a little comforted by a meffage from his majefty, that he would give orders to the grand jufticiary for paffing my pardon in form; which, however, I could not obtain. And I was privately affures, that the emprefs, conceiving the greatest abhorrence of what I had done, removed to the moft diftant fide of the court, firmly refolved that thofe buildings fhould never be repaired for her ufe; and, in the presence of her chief confidents, could not forbear vowing revenge. CH A P. VỊ. Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learnOf the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and cuftoms; the manner of educating their children. The author's way of living in that country. His vindication of a great lady. Although I intend to leave the defcription of this empire to a particular treatife, yet in the mean time I am content to gratify the curious reader with fome general ideas. As the common fize of the natives is fomewhat under fix inches high, fo there is an exact proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and trees; for instance, the tallest horfes and oxen are between four and five inches in heighth, the fheep an inch and a half, more or lefs; their geefe about the bignefs of a sparrow, and fo the feveral gradations downwards, till you come to the smalleft, which to my fight were almoft invifible; but nature hath adapted the eyes of the Lilliputians to all objects proper for their view: they fee with great exactnefs, but at no great distance, And, to fhew the fharpnefs of their fight towards objects that are near, I have been much pleafed with obferving a cook pulling a lark, which was not fo large as a common fly; and a young girl threading an invifible needle with invifible filk. Their tallest trees are about feven feet high: I mean fome of thofe in the great royal park, the tops whereof I could but just reach with my fift clenched. The other vegetables are in the fame proportion; but this I leave to the reader's imagination. I fhall fay but little at prefent of their learning, which for many ages hath flourifhed in all its branches among them: but their manner of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to the right, like the Europeans; nor from the right to the left, like the Arabians; nor from up to down, like the Chinese; but aflant from one corner of the paper to the other, like ladies in England. They bury their dead with their heads directly downwards, because they hold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to rife again, in which period the earth (which they conceive to be flat) will turn upfide down, and by this means they fhall at their refurrection be found ready ftanding on their feet. The learned among them confefs the absurdity of this doctrine, but the practice ftill continues in compliance to the vulgar. There are fome laws and cuftoms in this empire very peculiar; and, if they were not fo directly contrary to thofe of my own dear country, I fhould be tempted to fay a little in their juftification. It is only to be wished they were as well executed. The firft I fhall mention relates to informers. All crimes against the ftate are punished here with the utmost severity; but, if the perfon accused maketh his innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the accufer is immediately put to an ignominious death: and out of his goods or lands the innocent perfon is quadruply recompenfed for the loss of his time, for the danger he underwent, for the hardships of his imprifonment, and for all the charges he hath been at in making his defence. Or, if that fund be deficient, it is largely fupplied by the crown. The emperor alfo confers on him fome public mark of his favour, and proclamation is made of his innocence through the whole city. They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore feldom fail to punifh it with death; for they alledge, that care and vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preferve a man's goods from thieves, but honefty has no fence against fuperior cunning; and fince it is neceffary that there fhould be a perpetual intercourfe of buying and felling, and deal ing upon credit; where fraud is permitted, and connived at, or hath no law to punish it, the honeft dealer is always undone, and the knave gets the advantage. I remember when I was once interceding with the king for a criminal, who had wronged his mafter of a great fum of money, which he had received by order, and ran away with; and happening to tell his majesty, by way of extenuation, that it was only a breach of truft; the emperor thought it monftrous in me to offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and truly I had little to fay in return, farther than the common anfwer, that different nations had different customs; for, I confefs, I was heartily ashamed *. Although we ufually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon which all government turns, yet I could never obferve this maxim to be put in practice by any nation, except that of Lilliput. Whoever can there bring fufficient proof, that he hath strictly obferved the laws of his country for feventy-three moons, hath a claim to certain privileges, according to his quality and condition of life, with a proportionable fum of money out of a fund appropriated for that ufe: he likewife acquires the title of Snilpall, or Legal, which is added to his name, but doth not defcend to his pofterity. And thefe people thought it a prodigious defect of policy among us, when I told them, that our laws were enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is upon this account that the image of juftice, in their courts of judicature, is formed with fix eyes, two before, as many behind, and on each fide one, to fignify circumfpection; with a bag of gold open in her right hand, and a sword fheathed in her left, to fhew fhe is more difposed to reward than pu nish. In chufing perfons for all employments they have more regard to good morals than to great abilities; for, fince government is necessary to mankind, they believe that the common fize of human understandings is fitted to fome ftation or other, and that providence never intended to make the management of public affairs to be a myftery comprehended only by a few perfons of fublime genius, of which there feldom are three born in an age: but they fuppofe truth, juftice, temperance, and the like, to An act of parliament hath been fince paffed, by which fome breaches of truft have been made capital be in every man's power, the practice of which virtues, affilled by experience and a good intention, would qualify any man for the fervice of his country, except where a course of study is required. But they thought the want of moral virtues was fo far from being fupplied by fuperior endowments of the mind, that employments could never be put into fuch dangerous hands as thofe of perfons fo qualified; and at least, that the mistakes committed by ignorance in a virtuous difpofition would never be of fuch fatal confequence to the public weal, as the practices of a man whofe inclinations led him to be corrupt, and who had great abilities to manage, to multiply, and defend his corruptions. In like manner, the disbelief of a divine providence renders a man incapable of holding any public ftation; for, fince kings avowed themselves to be the deputies of providence, the Lilliputians think nothing can be more abfurd than for a prince to employ fuch men as difown the authority under which he acteth. In relating thefe and the following laws, I would only be understood to mean the original institutions, and not the most scandalous corruptions, into which these people are fallen by the degenerate nature of man. For as to that infamous practice of acquir ing great employments by dancing on the ropes, or badges of favour and distinction by leaping over fticks, and creeping under them, the reader is to obferve, that they were first introduced by the grandfather of the emperor now reigning, and grew to the prefent heighth by the gradual encrease of party and faction. Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been in fome other countries: for they reafon thus, that whoever makes ill returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the reft of mankind, from whom he hath received no obligation, and therefore fuch a man is not fit to live. Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ extremely from ours. For, fince the conjunction of male and female is founded upon the great law of nature, in order to propagate and continue the fpecies, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that men and women are joined together like other animals by the motives of concupifcence; and that their tendernefs towards their young proceeds from the like natural principle: for which reafon they will never allow, that a child is upder under any obligation to his father for begetting him, or to his mother for bringing him into the world, which, confidering the miferies of human life, was neither a benefit in itself, nor intended fo by his parents, whofe thoughts in their love-encounters were otherwife employed. Upon thefe, and the like reafonings, their opinion is that parents are the lait of all others to be trufted with the education of their own children: and therefore they have in every town public nurferies, where all parents, except cottagers and labourers, are obliged to fend their infants of both fexes to be reared and educated when they come to the age of twenty moons, at which time they are fuppofed to have fome rudiments of docility. Thefe fchools are of feveral kinds, fuited to different qualities, and to both fexes. They have certain profeffors well skilled in preparing children for fuch a condition of life as befits the rank of their parents, and their own capacities as well as inclination. I fhall first fay fomething of the male nurferies, and then of the female. The nurferies for males of noble or eminent birth are provided with grave and learned profeffors, and their feveral deputies. The clothes and food of the children are plain and fimple. They are bred up in the principles of honour, juftice, courage, modefty, clemency, religion, and love of their country; they are always employed in fome business, except in the times of eating and fleeping, which are very short, and two hours for diverfions, confifting of bodily exercises. They are dreffed by men till four years of age, and then are obliged to dress themselves, although their quality be ever fo great, and the women attendants, who are aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the moft menial offices. They are never fuffered to converse with fervants, but go together in fmaller or greater numbers to take their diverfions, and always in the prefence of a profeffor, or one of his deputies; whereby they avoid thofe early bad impreflions of folly and vice, to which our children are fubject. Their parents are fuffered to fee them only twice a year; the vifit is to laft but an hour; they are allowed to kiss the child at meeting and parting; but a profeffor, who always ftands by on thofe occafions, will not fuffer them to whisper, or ufe any fondling expreffions, or bring any prefents of toys, fweetmeats, and the like. The penfion from each family for the education and entertainment of a child, upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor's officers. The nurferies for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders, and handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the fame manner, only thofe defigned for trades are put out apprentices at eleven years old, whereas thofe of perfons of quality continue in their exercises till fifteen, which answers to twenty-one with us: but the confinement is gradually leffened for the last three years. In the female nurferies, the young girls of quality are educated much like the males, only they are dreffed by orderly fervants of their own fex; but always in the prefence of a profeffor or deputy, till they come to drefs themselves, which is at five years old. And if it be found, that these nurfes ever prefume to entertain the girls with frightful or foolish stories, or the common follies practifed by chambermaids among us, they are publicly whipped thrice about the city, imprisoned for a year, and banished for life to the moft defolate part of the country. Thus the young ladies there are as much afhamed of being cowards and fools as the men, and despise all perfonal ornaments beyond decency and cleanliness: neither did I perceive any difference in their education, made by their difference of fex, only that the exercifes of the females were not altogether fo robuft; and that fome rules were given them relating to domestic life, and a smaller compafs of learning was enjoined them: for their maxim is, that, among people of quality, a wife fhould be always a reafonable and agreeable companion, because fhe cannot always be young. When the girls are twelve years old, which among them is the marriageable age, their pa rents or guardians take them home with great expreflions of gratitude to the profeffors, and feldom without tears of the young lady and her companions. In the nurseries of females of the meaner fort, the children are inftructed in all kinds of works proper for their fex, and their feveral degrees: thofe intended for apprentices are difmiffed at feven years old, the reft are kept to eleven. The meaner families, who have children at thefe nurferies, are obliged, befides their annual penfion, which is as low as poffible, to return to the fteward of the nursery a fmall monthly share of their gettings to be a portion for the child; and therefore all parents are limited in their expences by the 1 the law. For the Lilliputians think nothing can be more unjuft, than for people, in fubfervience to their own appetites, to bring children into the world, and leave the burden of fupporting them on the public. As to perfons of quality, they give fecurity to appropriate a certain fum for each child, fuitable to their condition; and thefe funds are always managed with good husbandry, and the most exact juftice. The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their business being only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their education is of little confequence to the public: but the old and difeafed among them are fupported by hofpitals: for begging is a trade unknown in this empire. (for the largest of theirs would not have been able to hold them) they looked like the patch-work made by the ladies in England, only that mine were all of a colour. I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals in little convenient huts built about my houfe, where they and their families lived, and prepared me two dishes a-piece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand, and -placed them on the table; an hundred more attended below on the ground, fome with dishes of meat, and fome with barrels of wine and other liquors, flung on their fhoulders; all which the waiters above drew up, as I wanted, in a very ingenious manner, by certain cords, as we draw the bucket up a well in Europe. A dish of their meat was a good mouthful, and a barrel of their liquor a reasonable draught. Their mutton yields to ours, but their beef is excellent. I have had a firloin so large, that I have been forced to make three bits of it; but this is rare. My fervants were aftonished to fee me eat it, bones and all, as in our country we do the leg of a lark. Their geefe and turkies I ufually eat at a mouthful, and I must confefs they far exceed ours. Of their finaller fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the end of my knife. And here it may perhaps divert the curious reader, to give fome account of my domeftics, and my manner of living in this country, during a refidence of nine months and thirteen days. Having a head mechanically turned, and being likewife forced by neceflity, I had made for myself a table and chair convenient enough out of the largest trees in the royal park. Two hundred fempftrefies were employed to make me fhirts, and linen for my bed and table, all of the strongest and coarfeft kind they could get; which however they were forced to quilt together in feveral folds, for the thickeft was fome degrees finer than lawn. Their linen is ufually three inches wide, and three feet make a piece. The fempftreffes took my measure as I lay on the ground, one ftanding on my neck, and another at my mid-leg, with a ftrong cord extended, that each held by the end, while a third measured the length of the cord with a rule of an inch long. Then they measured my right thumb, and defired no more; for by a mathematical computation, that twice round the thumb is once round the wrift, and fo on to the neck and the waift, and by the help of my old fhirt, which I difplayed on the ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me exactly. Three hundred taylors were employed in the fame manner to make me clothes; but they had another contrivance for taking my measure. I kneeled down, and they raifed a ladder from the ground to my neck; upon this ladder one of them mounted, and let fall a plum-line from my collar to the floor, which just answered the length of my coat; but my waist and arms I measured myfelf. When my clothes were finished, which was done in my houfe One day his imperial majefty, being informed of my way of living, defired that himfelf and his royal confort, with the young princes of the blood of both fexes, might have the happiness (as he was pleafed to call it) of dining with me. They came accordingly, and I placed them in chairs of ftate upon my table, just overagainst me, with their guards about them. Flimnap, the lord high treasurer, attended there likewife with his white staff; and I obferved he often looked on me with a four countenance, which I would not feem to regard, but eat more than usual, in honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the court with admiration. I have some private reasons to believe, that this vifit from his majefty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill offices to his mafter. That minifter had always been my fecret enemy, though he outwardly careffed me more than was ufual to the morofenefs of his nature. He reprefented to the emperor the low condition of his treasury; that he was forced to take up money at great difcount; that exchequer bills would not circulate under nine per cent. below par; that I had coft his majesty above a million and a half of prugs (their greatest gold coin, about about the bignefs of a fpangle) and upon the whole, that it would be advifeable in the emperor to take the first fair occafion of difmifling me. I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady, who was an innocent fufferer upon my account. The treasurer took a fancy to be jealous of his wife, from the malice of fome evil tongues, who informed him that her grace had taken a violent affection for my perfon; and the court-scandal ran for fome time, that she once came privately to my lodging. This I folemnly declare to be a moft infamous falfhood, without any grounds, farther than that her grace was pleased to treat me with all innocent marks of freedom and friendfhip, I own the came often to my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three more in the coach, who were ufually her fifter and young daughter, and some particular acquaintance; but this was common to many other ladies of the court. And I ftill appeal to my fervants round, whether they at any time faw a coach at my door, without knowing what perfons were in it. On thofe occafions, when a fervant had given me notice, my custom was to go immediately to the door; and, after paying my respects, to take up the coach and two horfes very carefully in my hands (for, if there were fix horfes, the poftilion always unharneffed four) and placed them on a table, where I had fixed a moveable rim quite round, of five inches high, to prevent accidents. And I have often had four coaches and horfes at once on my table full of company, while I fat in my chair, leaning my face towards them; and, when I was engaged with one fet, the coachmen would gently drive the others round my table. I have paffed many an afternoon very agreeably in these converfations. But I defy the treasurer, or his two informers (I will name them, and let them make their best of it) Cluftril and Drunlo, to prove that any perfon ever came to me incognito, except the fecretary Reldrefal, who was fent by exprefs command of his imperial majefty, as I have before related. I fhould not have dwelt fo long upon this particular, if it had not been a point wherein the reputation of a great lady is fo nearly concerned, to fay nothing of my own, though I then had the honour to be a nardac, which the treasurer himself is not; for all the world knows, that he is only a glumglum, a title inferior 4 by one degree, as that of a marquis is to a duke in England; yet I allow he preceded me in right of his poft. These falfe. informations, which I afterwards came to the knowledge of by an accident not proper to mention, made the treasurer fhew his lady for fome time an ill countenance, and me a worse; and although he was at laft undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I loft all credit with him, and found my intereft decline very faft with the emperor himself, who was indeed too much governed by that favourite. CHAP. VII. The author, being informed of a defign to accufe him of high treafon, maketh bis ejcap to Blefufcu. His reception there. Before I proceed to give an account of my leaving this kingdom, it may be proper to inform the reader of a private intrigue, which had been for two months forming against me. I had been hitherto all my life a ftranger to courts, for which I was unqualified by the meannefs of my condition. I had indeed heard and read enough of the difpofitions of great princes and minifters; but never expected to have found such terrible effects of them in fo remote a country, governed, as I thought, by very different max. ims from thofe in Europe. When I was juft preparing to pay my attendance on the emperor of Blefufcu, a confiderable perfon at court (to whom I had been very ferviceable, at a time when he lay under the highest displeasure of his imperial majefty) came to my house very privately at night in a clofe chair, and, without fending his name, defired admittance: the chairmen were difmiffed; I put the chair, with his lordship in it, into my coat-pocket; and, giving orders to a trufty fervant to fay I was indifpofed and gone to fleep, I fastened the door of my houfe, placed the chair on the table according to my ufual custom, and fat down by it. After the common falutations were over, obferving his lordship's countenance full of concern, and enquiring into the reason, he defired I would hear him with patience in a matter that highly concerned my honour and my life. His fpeech was to the following effect, for I took notes of it as foon as he left me. You are to know, faid he, that feveral committees of council have been lately called in the most private manner on your account; and it is but two days fince his majefty came to a full refolution. You |