esque, don't you think? Oh, dear! When the sails were properly draped CHAPTER III THE MUTINY We were three days at sea. Far to windward lay the dingy outline of the Malay Archipelago, and to our LEFT (I am getting sick of this nautical terminology) were the Cantaloupe Islands. The above paragraph is supposed to be preparation for The Mutiny, which is the heading for this chapter. There must always be a Mutiny on every Pirate Ship. But I am fed up with Mutinies, so we shall consider this one to be over and past. The narrative will be continued at "Chapter 4. We Take a Prize," which will appear in our next issue. TKKI Fed with HARVARD FRESHMEN OPEN WITH DEAN "The beginning of a long siege." At the Coop '24: "I'd like a pair of rowing pants, the kind with the sliding seat." Ikki (A Bedtime Story of the Zubu) [KKI had been very naughty that day. He had sneaked into the kitchen and nibbled at the missionary before he was half baked. "Bllkrzt! Mngst!" shrieked his Aunty Globuck, as she chased him up and down the Nile with an inverted tree. Ikki had run halfway up the Kongo and had lost seventy snakes' ears in a game of Ethiopian polo. Now he sat wistfully on the jagged edge of a polo stump while the family partook of Christian meat. Within an hour there was naught to be seen of the feast save a denuded radius or tibia here and there, and the family settled down to sociable tubs of scalded elephant's milk. Tears of hunger rolled down Ikki's back until they were finally absorbed by his scant suit. After everyone except Ikki had retired, the resourceful child took revenge in the most kittenish manner. He dropped a lighted pine torch down his father's exposed larynx, drew a naughty picture with a poison tiger's tooth on his brother Bloobo's back, and drove a black spike through his aunty's ebony skull. Sleep was resumed after the hearty laughter had subsided. "Did you?" rejoined the Prince of Puns accompanying his words on a shimmy whistle. "What was it, a package or yourself?" "They insulted me," babbled on the Bird, quite unruffled in feather and temperament. "They demanded that I, who once passed through the purifying flames of English A-that I, mind you, should read some miserable card just to prove that I wasn't illiterate." "And could you read it?" muttered the Blot, crawling out of the waste basket where he had been sleeping amid a mess of pica measures and proof sheets. "Could I--!" And the Gullible Gull regarded the twain with dagger looks. "If I had my way, I'd put some interesting cards in their old grab bag, instead of stuff like 'By the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, the shrine of Beacon Street and the shades of Faneuil Hall, I hereunto affix-' we might have such appropriate examples as 'You poor fish, don't you suppose I can read this as well as you can? Why, my aunt's uncle-in-law says-' or 'What the devil is it to you whether I can read or not, the nerve of some people surpasseth all-'" A merciful blow on the temples contributed jointly by other two completely silenced the loquacious lark-at least for the moment. PROF.: "What right have you to swear before me in class?" YOUTH: "How could I know you wanted to swear first?" WHY LYNCH THE MAN NEGRO AND DISCRIMINATE AGAINST HIS WIFE? Moments With the ASTRONOMY la [OT without some apprehension, NOT I walked into the Old Curiositv Shop and sat me down in row 444B. It was fortunate for me that I was among the first hundred thousand to enter the hall of celestial science, for both starboard hatchways were choked with humanity. Apparatus in the interior was decorated by sparse patches of wall. There were countless globes, for the purpose, no doubt, of playing the music of the spheres, and there were plaster crescents suspended from chandeliers to symbolize the errantem lunam of Horace. There were also binnacles, capstans, binoculars, sextants, quadrants, hydrants, tangents, co-sines, high signs, dynamos, derricks, parallel bars and telescopes. There were, furthermore, "I was out riding with the nicest boy yesterday." "Handsome, eh?" "No-o-o, taxi." seventeen clocks with no facial family resemblance. One offered local mean time, another, Siamese sidereal time, another, maritime, another, ragtime, etc. This varied interpretation of the hour, I find, is to give the Chinese students the satisfaction of knowing when it's bedtime in Pekin. When the murmuring multitude became somewhat silent, a man with a genial mustache appeared from behind a pile of charts. A fold in his cervical vertebrae made it necessary for him to keep his eyes forever fixed on the zenith. This common astronomical malady did not impair his activity, however. He pressed buttons, pulled ropes and spun machinery until there was a great ringing of bells, bellowing of fog horns, and whirling of pulleys. Suddenly all the window shades descended, effecting total darkness, and while a solar pipe organ played "The Spacious Firmament on High," I fled. |