fate sent the wanderer back to his islandhome, he might resemble, however faintly, that standard of perfection which I had long pictured-an unprejudiced and enlightened Englishman. Alas! how much was I disappointed on my return-how little did I anticipate the giant steps which have been taken in my absence. I left my countrymen comparatively childrenI find them of a growth "exceeding the sons of men." In matters of learning and science, they were then "harmless as doves," I behold them now "wise as serpents." The ascent to Parnassus has been macadamized-the gates of the Muses' Temple have been opened by the mechanics patent key-the hidden mysteries of steam and gas have been evaporated-" the tree of knowledge has been plucked-all's known!" and the universality of genius predominates. And I, who vainly imagined that I should become exalted above my peers, am compelled to "hide my diminished head" before the noonday brilliancy which dazzles me on every side. Like the sleepers of old in ancient Rome, repairing to their former haunts, or a second Rip van Winkle, I seem to have been in a trance while this grand development of intellect has taken place this march-this progression-this springtide of perfectibility. Immediately on my return to England, I was struck with new and peculiar sensations, unlike any I either anticipated or remembered; but I attributed this in the first instance to the imperfection of my memory, or the mere novelty of my situation. In a short time, however, I began to perceive that the Horatian system was reversed, that the minds of men had changed, though the heavens remained the same.

The first journey I made was the opening lesson to my understanding. Instead of travelling, as I had been wont of yore, in a heavy, steady, sleep-on-the-road vehicle-literally and figuratively-I found myself suddenly pounced upon, and compelled to make one of a party of "ninetysix,”—was "told off" to "carriage No. 12," -mechanically stowed away, heard a violent whizzing in the air, was conscious of an extreme rapidity of motion-like the abducted maiden in Bürger

Swift roll the moonlight scenes away, Hills chasing hills successive fly, E'en stars that pave the eternal way, Seem shooting to a backward sky!

and before I had recovered from my astonishment, was informed by a scientific and splendidly attired conducteur, or locomotive engineer, that the trajet from Liverpool to Manchester had been accomplished in the short space of fifty minutes.

I, "ignorant of myself to help myself," could only shudder at the risk I had run, and wonder where I was, and in what country.

"Is this the region-this the soil-the clime" of merry England? or, am I realizing a wilder extravagance than one of Gulliver's adventurous voyages, and while I pondered, the words of the prophet Ali came to my recollection: "The life of this world is but a dream of which the next is the awaking; and during this sleep the actions of men are only confused and inexplicable dreams."

I found additional cause for surprise in the language which saluted my ears, and the advertisements which met my eye. The porter who possessed himself of my baggage to accompany me to my hotel, inquired if all my "effex" were safely "deposed" upon his truck; and as we moved along, he pointed out to me the various public "heddifices" of the town, commenting with peculiar pride on the splendid exterior of the Mechanics' Institute, of which he had the honour to be a member. At the hotel, the principal waiter received me in a suit of sableshaving evidently "that within which passeth show"-dignity and gravity were enthroned on his countenance, grace accompanied his movements, and eloquence dwelt upon his tongue, "sweeter than the honey of Hybla." A gold repeater was struck to inform me of the hour, a damask napkin symbolically waved in his left hand, while with his right he presented, what he termed the carte, inquiring at the same time, if I gamed or fished, as the establishment was abundantly furnished in either capacity. Though confounded by the equivocal terms employed, I collected from the bill of fare the meaning of my periphrastic friend, and from mere apprehension of the consequence, I ordered a dinner sufficient for six, lest I should be wanting in respect to a waiter so recherché. Even the boots of the establishment appeared a being of a superior order to those I had once been accustomed to, and assimilated in nothing to the "usual nondescript animal," as those of his race were formerly termed; and when he appeared

at my lever on the following morning, while he rejected the solitary shilling which I offered for his services, he informed me that such a remooneration was too slight for the pecoolier process which he edopted of giving to gentlemen's boots, "that polish which," -in short, he quoted Warren, and informed me that he made his blacking himself." Ex fumo dare lucem," I murmured to myself, as I thought of a "capability boots," and a patent process.

I established myself on the "drivingseat" (formerly the box) of the coach which was to convey me to town; the vehicle was named after what I found to be the latest fashionable novel; the driver or officiating person, I mistook for a nobleman about to dispute my right to my seat. Autrefois, during the days of the Old Four-in-hand Club, which I can recal, gentlemen were said to dress like coachmen, at present, whether the exchange has been permanently made or not I cannot determine, the latter certainly dress like gentlemen. The Jehu in question wore a fashionable corbeau coloured surtout, a gray silk neck-handkerchief, trousers "terre du Balkan," violet kid gloves, a Pigot hat, and expended Nicotian odours from a Woodville cigar; I was at a loss in what manner I should address him, or how I should be civil enough. He set me the example; conversed fluently on the prevailing topics of the day, lamented the infatuation of the aristocracy in resisting the spread of knowledge; compared the invading countercurrent of reform and the cholera morbus; suggested improvements in the bill for the former and remedies for the latter; and, before he had driven me five miles, I became morally certain that a leading member of the lower house, or the president of a scientific association, was occupying the seat where (in plain English) the coachman of the Red Rover ought to have been. I remembered it was the custom to ask the man whose driving confidence one enjoyed, to imbibe somewhat; I flattered myself on having caught the tone of the day, and asked him if he would lunch. "A wafer biscuit and a glass of port wine with you, sir," was as tranquilly uttered as though Syr Phaeton had never known or heard of "the poor creature small beer," or ever acknowledged the genial influence of a glass of brandy. I soon found that I was

not only out-talked but out-done, and was fain to take refuge in a newspaper, one of the tribe of Cadmus sprung up since my expatriation, and vainly did I apostrophize the shade of my long-forgotten Greek in trying to get at the numerous new-fangled terms for old-fashioned occupations. By the contest, however, I discovered much that would otherwise have been concealed from my darkened ken. Amongst the advertising philanthropists, the dentists shone conspicuous. A "box of ivory" was once thought an ingenious denomination for teeth, by the worshippers of the Goddess Fancy; a more recondite appellation has been found, ycleped "Terro-metallic substances;" while the powder for which "dentifrice" was considered a sufficiently classical term, is now magnified into "Odonto," or a "Leuconastic preparation." A cure for the headach is designated a "Cerelæum !" "By my troth, good Captain Peesel, these be very bitter words!" And the aliases under which "that graceful ornament of the human frame" are known, are more numerous than the sands of the sea, they possess more than the Cerberean qualification.

"Three gentlemen at once," and from one of them it would seem that Pactolus had been robbed of his treasures to heighten the excellence of the article puffed; ex. gr., "The celebrated Russian Dye, with the extra gold ingredient, for changing the hair." I knew of old that though it might be difficult to transmute other substances into gold, yet that it needed no alchemist to convert the "yellow poison" into any worldly shape; but still I was unprepared for the revival of "the high Roman fashion," and never expected though it might change man, that it should alter the colour of their heads. This was not, however, the highest of my enlightenments. After much reading, it became impressed upon my mind that there was an invention, the excellence of which surpassed aught that had ever yet been dilated on. Not the discoverer of oil-painting, Van Eyck,-not Faust in the arrangement of his earliest types,-not Friar Bacon igniting the mysterious compounds in his cell,-not Sir Isaac successfully speculating on the gyration of the apple,not one nor all of the grand discoverers in ancient or modern times, either reaped or merited the meed of fame, now claimed pre-eminently by that modest individual, "Robert Warren, 30, Strand," who, "to

use his own expressive phrase, "has, in the development of his Blacking, called forth a spirit from the vasty deep to dazzle, polish, and instruct mankind." For fear lest these lucubrations of mine should assume the guise of the puff-general in favour of the abovenamed meritorious individual, I will leave writing the strains of the Swan of Avon, the verse of Byron, or the lofty notes of Milton, all of whom have been pressed into the service,-like a bright but dusty Rembrandt in a gorgeous frame, whereby the poet's advice of gilding refined gold is neglected; all this will I leave unsaid, for what could I add to that which the world knows so well already? The first thing which I saw on entering town augmented those perceptions which had not yet been addressed in so tangible a manner. It was early in the morning, and I perceived a carriage of a peculiar shape coming rapidly towards

us.

It had the appearance of a Parisian Accéléré, but moved with a velocity greater than any accelerated machine in the land of Gaul. I looked at it with surprise, and that surprise was enhanced when I saw a dozen men with scarlet coats seated within. "Who and what can those men be ?" I exclaimed.

"Those sir?" answered the whip, "Oh those are the general-post men!that's the Post-office Omnibus that takes

them to the west end."

"I hope they are carefully taken back when their occupation calls them into the city again; for I suppose these west-end postmen consider it a degradation to be seen walking east of Temple Bar."

66

Precisely, sir; for by this regulation, time and reputation are happily preserved."

How many objects did I meet with in the great city to confirm my ideas of the superiority of modern over ancient times! Cigar divans were substituted for purlhouses; restaurateurs, for what in plain dialect were called "slap-bang shops;" reading-rooms superseded book-stalls; Greek, Latin, and French derivations met me at every corner. I was sitting one morning at Grange's, when two privates of the Life-guards, with limbs" like Syr Bevis and Syr Ascapart, made their appearance. They lounged into the shop with an air of nonchalance,

"thewes and

and made the usual reconnaissance of the idly hungry. What can these men want? I said. If they are come to eat, such long-bodied fellows, in whose economy, no doubt, the “dura ilia” is preeminent, will soon demolish all the dainties here. "What will you take?" demanded one of the giants of his companion.—“ Oh, ice for me," responded the warrior of six feet four." Two glasses of apricot-ice, if you please." These gentlemen had progressed in the school of refinement, and verifying the words of the old song, had attained the perfection of military bliss. How happy the soldier who lives on his

pay,

And spends half-a-crown out of sixpence a-day.

I happened to have some business to transact at a country town a few miles from London. I arrived there about the middle of the day, and inquiring for the directed to a fine house, in a conspicuous land-agent, whom I wished to see, was part of the town, adjoining which was a commodious office. I entered the latter and asked for Mr. Mugwell. "He has not yet come into the office," replied a conceited clerk; "It's not his hour yet, sir, but he is probably up, if you will step this way." He rang a bell, a servant in livery appeared, who opened a side door, and ushered me into a magnificent diningroom, where a table was set out with comestibles of all sorts; cold game, pies, French wines, coffee, liqueurs, &c. Mugwell will be down directly, sir, if you

"Mr.

will be so kind as to wait a few moments."

I

remembered this man's father—an honest, painstaking, industrious land-surveyor, who began the world with nothing. The gentleman shortly appeared, a brocade morning gown, and dilettante air, distinguished him. I began my business, but was interrupted "Excuse by a gentle wave of the hand. me, sir; have you taken your fork-breakfast yet?" This fellow's father ate his breakfast, and dinner too, without any fork, using only a knife to cut it on his bread; and like the passover, it was eaten standing. I left the house abruptly, and

the business I came about was never

concluded.-But enough for the present. Tempus abire mihi est.

D. C.

No lovely girl of eighteen was ever more sincere as she uttered the vow of everlasting remembrance, than Miss St. Clair but poor human nature will assert its right, even though the rosy lips of a Hebe forbid it. Madeleine was not seen en grand monde all the next season. Hargrave was away, and what to her were fashion and frivolity? At length la belle désolée ceased to weep; she could support the view of the little pencilled sketch of Hargrave's features which adorned her boudoir, and the silk curtain was withdrawn-in a fortnight more she interfered with her woman in the arrangement of her fine dark hair; and in a month yielded to her mother's persuasions, and attended an assembly-poor Lionel !-but we will not anticipate

The ball was full and fashionable; and Madeleine beautiful and graceful, if not gay. Percival Leslie was there, and Leslie was the ton; he admired her large black eyes almost audibly, and unconsciously as she heard, she smiled-if Leslie was charmed with the eyes, he was enchanted by the smile. Leslie seldom danced, yet 'to obtain the honour of her hand'-Madeleine blushed, and her heart fluttered he reminded her of Hargrave! A quadriile is a pretty vehicle of quiet coquetry-the sudden breaks when summoned to the duties of the set-the murmured converse when the music fills up the pauses-the graceful motion-the soft light-and the magic accessaries of flowers and perfume, nodding plumes and flashing gems-how much may be said and felt during a quadrille.

Leslie had that deep low voice which sinks into the heart, when perchance the subject breathed in a lighter tone would not travel farther than the ear; and it was not that he was handsome, many declared him even far otherwise, but it was the manière distinguée, the air noble, the perfect ton de société of Leslie which had given him so great a sway in the world of fashion. His eyes were blue; they were large, soft, expressive eyes,-eyes which would have graced the countenance of the gentlest woman; his hair, too, was scarcely three shades darker than what is called flaxen; and his every feature was so delicately chiselled, that at the first glance he was passed over; but only at the first, for she who had once heard that low, deep, voice, and felt the languor of those large, soft, expressive eyes, passed him not by again. Such was Percival Leslie; but could Hargrave, the gallant, daring, elegant Hargrave fear a rival in this votary of taste, this child of fashion? Who shall say? Lionel was a lover—.

Madeleine looked and listened; even thus had Hargrave charmed and spoken, and been the cynosure of all hearts and eyes,—and yet Lionel's looks had never so softened, his tones had never so thrilled! They met again; Percival rallied her on her frequent absence from the gay scenes of festivity, where her eyes outshone "the jewelled coronals," and he rallied her so tenderly that she became convinced. She had never touched her harp since Hargrave's departure, but Leslie wooed her to it with new music and gentle words; were she ill, he relieved the tedium of indisposition and solitude by smiles and cares, and kindnesses; were she well, he rendered gaiety more pleasurable by gallantry, and wit, and assiduity; but he spoke no word of passion, and how could Madeleine throw back upon itself a heart so kindly? "My own Hargrave, too, would have done all this" murmured the fair St. Clair in a moment of memory; but she murmured it only to her own heart, and turned with a smile upon her lip to Leslie.