Sad ftate of matters! when we dare
Nor ask for peace, nor offer war;
Nor Livy nor Comines have fhown
What in this juncture may be done.
Grotius might own, that Paulo's cafe is
Harder, than any which he places
Amongst his Belli and his Pacis.

He ftrove, alas! but ftrove in vain,
By dint of logick to maintain,
That all the fex was born to grieve,
Down to her Ladyfhip from Eve.

He rang'd his tropes, and preach'd-up patience,
Back'd his opinion with quotations,
Divines and Moralifts; and run ye on
Quite through from Seneca to Bunyan.
As much in vain he bid her try

To fold her arms, to close her

eye;

Telling her, reft would do her good,

If any thing in nature could :

T

So held the Greeks quite down from Galen,
Mafters and princes of the calling:

So all our modern friends maintain

(Though no great Greeks) in Warwick-lane, Reduce, my Mufe, the wandering fong:

A tale fhould never be too long.

The more he talk'd, the more fhe burn'd, And figh'd, and toft, and groan'd, and turn'd: At laft, I wish, faid fhe, my dear

(And whifper'd fomething in his ear),

L 2

You

You wish! wish on, the Doctor cries:
Lord! when will womankind be wife?
What, in your waters? are you mad?
Why poison is not half so bad.

I'll do it but I give you warning:
You'll die before to-morrow morning. -
advife;
The lady with a figh replies !
But life, you know, at best is pain;
And death is what we fhould disdain.
So do it therefore, and adieu :

'Tis kind, my dear, what you

For I will die for love of you.
Let wanton wives by death be fcar'd:
But, to my comfort, I'm prepar'd.

ΤΗ

THE LADLE.

HE fceptics think, 'twas long ago,
Since gods came down incognito,
To see who were their friends or foes,
And how our actions fell or rofe :

That, fince they gave things their beginning;
And fet this whirligig a-fpinning;
Supine they in their Heaven remain,
Exempt from paffion and from pain :
And frankly leave us human elves,
To cut and fhuffle for ourselves:
To stand or walk, to rife or tumble,
As matter and as motion jumble.

The Poets now and Painters hold
This thefis both abfurd and bold :
And your good-natur'd gods, they say,
Defcend fome twice or thrice a-day:
Elfe all these things we toil so hard in
Would not avail one fingle farthing:
For, when the hero we rehearse,
To grace his actions and our verse;
'Tis not by dint of human thought,
That to his Latium he is brought;
Iris defcends by Fate's commands,
To guide his steps through foreign lands :
And Amphitrite clears the way
From rocks and quick-fands in the sea.
And if you see him in a sketch

(Though drawn by Paulo or Carache),
He fhews not half his force and strength,
Strutting in armour, and at length:
That he may make his proper figure,
The piece must yet be four yards bigger:
The nymphs conduct him to the field;
One holds his fword, and one his shield:
Mars, ftanding by, afferts his quarrel;
And Fame flies after with a laurel.

These points, I fay, of fpeculation,
(As 'twere to fave or fink the nation)
Men idly-learned will difpute,
Affert, object, confirm, refute:
Each mighty angry, mighty right,
With equal arms fuftains the fight;

Till now no umpire can agree 'em :

So both draw off, and fing Te Deum.
Is it in equilibrio,

If deities defcend or no?
Then let th' affirmative prevail,
As requifite to form my tale :
For by all parties 'tis confeft,
That thofe opinions are the best,
Which in their nature most conduce
To prefent ends, and private use.
Two gods came therefore from above,
One Mercury, the other Jove :
The humour was (it feems) to know,
If all the favours they beftow,

Could from our own perverfenefs ease us ;
And if our with enjoy'd would please us.
Difcourfing largely on this theme,
O'er hills and dales their godfhips came ;.
Till, well nigh tir'd at almost night,
They thought it proper to alight.

Note here, that it as true as odd is,
That in difguife a god or goddess
Exerts no fupernatural powers;

But acts on maxims much like ours..
They fpied at last a country farm,

Where all was fnug, and clean, and warm;

For woods before, and hills behind,

Secur'd it both from rain and wind:

Large oxen in the field were lowing:

Good grain was fow'd: good fruit was growing:

Of

Of laft-year's corn in barns great store :
Fat turkeys gobbling at the door :

And wealth (in fhort) with peace confented,
That people here should live contented:
But did they in effect do so?

Have patience, friend, and thou shalt know.
The honest farmer and his wife,

Το

years declin'd from prime of life,

Had ftruggled with the marriage noofe;

As almost every couple does :

Sometimes, my plague! fometimes, my darling!

Kiffing to-day, to-morrow fnarling;

Jointly fubmitting to endure

That evil, which admits no cure.
Our gods the outward gate unbarr'd:

Our farmer met them in the yard;
Thought they were folks that loft their way;

And afk'd them civily to stay :

Told them, for fupper, or for hed,

They might go on, and be worse sped.
So faid, fo done; the gods confent:
All three into the parlour went :
They compliment; they fit; they chat;
Fight o'er the wars; reform the state:
A thousand knotty points they clear,
Till fupper and my wife appear.

Jove made his leg, and kifs'd the dame :
Obfequious Hermes did the fame.
Jove kifs'd the farmer's wife, you say !
He did but in an honest way :