SCENE 1.] TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA. How he her chamber-window will ascend, Pro. Adieu, my lord; sir Valentine is coming. Duke. Be they of much import? Val. The tenor of them doth but signify Duke. Nay, then no matter; stay with me a while; [ward, Val. Win her with gifts, if she respect not words: Val. Why then I would resort to her by night. [safe, Val. What lets, but one may enter at her window? Val. Why then, a ladder, quaintly made of cords, Duke. Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood, Duke. Then let me see thy cloak: I'll get me one of such another length. Val. Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord. And slaves they are to me, that send them flying: Himself would lodge, where senseless they are lying. Because myself do want my servants' fortune: That they should harbour where their lord should be. Silvia, this night I will enfranchise thee: Will give thee time to leave our royal court, Val. And why not death, rather than living tor- Enter PROTEUS and LAUNCE. Pro. Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out. Laun. Him we go to find: there's not a hair on's but that woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis head, but 'tis a Valentine. a milkmaid; yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel,-which is much in a barechristian. Here is the cat-log (Pulling out a paper) of her conditions. Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more; nay, a horse Laun. Can nothing speak? master, shall I strike? cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore, is she better Pro. Whom would'st thou strike? you, Laun. Nothing. Pro. Villain, forbear. Laun. Why, sir, I'll strike nothing: I pray you,Pro. Sirrah, I say, forbear :-Friend Valentine, a word. [news, Val. My ears are stopp'd, and cannot hear good So much of bad already hath possess'd them. Pro. Then in dumb silence will I bury mine, For they are harsh, untuneable, and bad. Val. Is Silvia dead? Pro. No, Valentine. Val. No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Silvia!Hath she forsworn me? Pro. No, Valentine. Val. No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me!What is your news? [vanish'd. Laun. Sir, there's a proclamation that you are Pro. That thou art banished, O, that's the news; From hence, from Silvia, and from me thy friend. Val. O, I have fed upon this woe already, And now excess of it will make me surfeit. Doth Silvia know that I am banished? Pro. Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom, (Which, unrevers'd, stands in effectual force,) A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears: Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd; With them, upon her knees, her humble self; Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became As if but now they waxed pale for woe: [them, But neither bended knees, pure hands held up, Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears, Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire; But Valentine, if he be ta'en, must die. Besides, her intercession chaf'd him so, When she for thy repeal was suppliant, That to close prison he commanded her. With many bitter threats of biding there, Val. No more; unless the next word, that thou speak'st, Have some malignant power upon my life: Pro. Cease to lament for that thou can'st not help, Val. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy, Bid him make haste, and meet me at the north-gate. Pro. Go, sirrah, find him out.-Come, Valentine. Val. O my dear Silvia! hapless Valentine! [Exeunt Valentine and Proteus. Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think, my master is a kind of knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, that knows me to be in love; yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: than a jade. Item, She can milk; look virtue in a maid with clean hands. Enter SPEED. a sweet Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news with your mastership? Laun. With my master's ship? why, it is at sea. Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word: What news then in your paper? Laun. The blackest news that ever thou heard'st. Laun. Fye on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not read. [thee? Laun. I will try thee: Tell me this: Who begot Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather. Laun. O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy grandmother: this proves, that thou canst not read. Speed. Come, fool, come: try me in thy paper. Laun. There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed! Speed. Imprimis, She can milk. Laun. Ay, that she can. Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Laun. And thereof comes the proverb,-Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale. Speed. Item, She can sew. Laun. That's as much as to say, Can she so? Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock? Speed. Item, She can wash and scour. Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be washed and scoured. Speed. Item, She can spin. Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath. Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: Read on. Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth. Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath. Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep. Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk. Speed. Item, She is slow in words. Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue I pray thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud. Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her. Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. [crusts. Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love Speed. Item, She is curst. Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. Speed. She will often praise her liquor. Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, She is too liberal. Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not; for ACT IV. SCENE 1.] TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA. that I'll keep shut: now of another thing she may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults. Lawn. Stop there; I'll have her; she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit,— Laan. More hair than wit,-it may be; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. And more faults than hairs, Laun. That's monstrous: 0, that that were out! Speed. What then? Your slander never can endamage him ; Laun. Why, then I will tell thee, that thy And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you; Lawn. For thee? ay; who art thou? he hath staid for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him? correction. Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously. Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace, Duke. Thou know'st, how willingly I would effect The match between sir Thurio and my daughter. Pro. I do, my lord. Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. [him, Duke. Where your good word cannot advantage Where you may temper her, by your persuasion, Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect:- [love. Duke. This discipline shows thou hast been in To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in music : Pro. We'll wait upon your grace till after supper : ACT. IV. SCENE I.-A Forest, near Mantua. Enter certain Out-laws. 1 Out. Fellows, stand fast; I see a passenger. Enter VALENTINE and SPeed. 3 Out. Stand, sir, and throw us that you have If not, we'll make you sit, and rifle you. 1 Out. That's not so, sir; we are your enemies. 3 Out. Ay, by my beard, will we; For he's a proper man. Val. Then know, that I have little wealth to lose; My riches are these poor habiliments, 2 Out. Whither travel you? Val. To Verona. 1 Out. Whence came you? Val. From Milan. 3 Out. Have you long sojourn'd there? [staid, Val. Some sixteen months; and longer might have If crooked fortune had not thwarted me. 1 Out. What, were you banish'd thence? Val. I was. 2 Out. For what offence? [hearse: Val. For that which now torments me to reI kill'd a man, whose death I much repent; But yet I slew him manfully in fight, Without false vantage, or base treachery. 1 Out. Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so : But were you banish'd for so small a fault? Val. I was, and held me glad of such a doom. 1 Out. Have you the tongues? Val. My youthful travel therein made me happy; Or else I often had been miserable. [friar, 3 Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat This fellow were a king for our wild faction. 1 Out. We'll have him; sirs, a word. Speed. Master, be one of them; It is an honourable kind of thievery. Val. Peace, villain! my 2 Out. Tell us this: Have you any thing to take to? Val. Nothing, but fortune. 3 Out. Know then, that some of us are gentlemen, Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth Thrust from the company of awful men: Myself was from Verona banished, For practising to steal away a lady, An heir, and near allied unto the duke. 2 Out. And I from Mantua, for a gentleman, Whom, in my mood, I stabb'd unto the heart. 1 Out. And I, for such like petty crimes as these. But to the purpose,-(for we cite our faults, That they may hold excus'd our lawless lives,) And, partly, seeing you are beautified With goodly shape; and by your own report A linguist; and a man of such perfection, As we do in our quality much want ;- 2 Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'd man, And live, as we do, in this wilderness? [consórt ? 1 Out. But if thou scorn our courtesy, thou diest. Val. I take your offer, and will live with you; Provided that you do no outrages On silly women, or poor passengers. 3 Out. No, we detest such vile base practices. Come, go with us, we'll bring thee to our crews, And shew thee all the treasure we have got; Which, with ourselves, all rest at thy dispose. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-Milan. Court of the Palace. Pro. Already have I been false to Valentine, She twits me with my falsehood to my friend; When to her beauty I commend my vows, She bids me think, how I have been forsworn In breaking faith with Julia whom I lov'd: And, notwithstanding all her sudden quips, The least whereof would quell a lover's hope, Pro. Ay, gentle Thurio; for, you know, that love Will creep in service where it cannot go. Thu, Ay, but, I hope, sir, that you love not here. Pro. Sir, but I do; or else I would be hence. Thu. Whom? Silvia? Pro. Ay, Silvia,-for your sake. Thu. I thank you for your own. Now, gentlemen, Let's tune, and to it lustily awhile. Enter Host, at a distance; and JULIA, in boy's clothes. Host. Now, my young guest! methinks you're allycholly; I pray you, why is it? Jul. Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry. Host. Come, we'll have you merry: I'll bring you where you shall hear music, and see the gentleman that you ask'd for. Jul. But shall I hear him speak? Jul. That will be music. Jul. Is he among these? (Music plays.) Host. Ay; but peace, let's hear 'em. SONG. Who is Silvia? what is she, That all our swains commend her? The heavens such grace did lend her, Is she kind, as she is fair? For beauty lives with kindness: To help him of his blindness; That Silvia is excelling; Host. How now? are you sadder than you were before? How do you, man? the music likes you not. Jul. He plays false, father. Host. How? out of tune on the strings? Jul. Not so; but yet so false that he grieves my very heart-strings. Host. You have a quick ear. Jul. Ay, I would I were deaf! it makes me have a slow heart. Host. I perceive, you delight not in music. Host. Hark, what fine change is in the music! [thing? Host. You would have them always play but one Jul. I would always have one play but one thing. But, host, doth this sir Proteus, that we talk on, often resort unto this gentlewoman? Host. I tell you what Launce, his man, told me, he loved her ont of all nick. Jul. Where is Launce? ! SCENE 4.] Pro. At saint Gregory's well. TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA. I am thus early come, to know what service Thu. Farewell. (Exeunt Thurio and Musicians.) | It is your pleasure to command me in. Silvia appears above, at her window. Pro. One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's truth, Pro. Sir Proteus, gentle lady, and your servant. Pro. That I may compass yours. That hast deceiv'd so many with thy vows? Jul. "Twere false, if I should speak it ; (Aside.) Pro. I likewise hear, that Valentine is dead. Pro. Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth. (Aside.) Pro. Madam, if your heart be so obdurate, Sil. I am very loth to be your idol, sir; As wretches have o'er-night, (Exeunt Proteus; and Silvia, from above.) Jul. Not so; but it hath been the longest night SCENE III.-The same. Enter EGLAMOUR. Egl. This is the hour that madam Silvia SILVIA appears above, at her window. Sil. O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman, Egl. Madam, I pity much your grievances; As much I wish all good befortune you. Sil. This evening coming. Sil. Good-morrow, kind sir Eglamour. (Exeunt.) Enter LAUNCE, with his dog. When a man's servant shall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it! I have taught him-even as one would say precisely, Thus I would teach a dog. I was sent to deliver him, as a present to mistress Silvia, from my master; and I came no sooner into the diningchamber, but he steps me to her trencher, and steals her capon's leg. O, 'tis a foul thing, when a cur cannot keep himself in all companies! I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for't; sure as I live he had suffered for't: you shall judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of three or four gentlemanlike dogs, under the duke's table: he had not been there (bless the mark) a pissing while, but all the chamber smelt him. Out with the dog, says one; What cur is that? says another; Whip him out, says the third; Hang him up, says the duke. I, having been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab; and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs: Friend, quoth I, you mean to whip the dog? Ay, marry do I, quoth he. You do him the more wrong, quoth I; 'twas I did the thing you wot of. He makes me no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for their servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat on the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had been executed: I have stood on the pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't: thou think'st not of this now!-Nay, |