the Tale of Pierce Plowman, the first of his performances, a Franciscan Friar wrote a satyric mummery (the Comedy of the Age) upon him, which was acted at every monastery in London, and at Woodstock before the Court. Chaucer, not a little nettled at the poignancy of the satyre, and the popularity of it, meeling his antagonist in Fleet-street, beat him with a dagger, for which he was fined two shillings, as appears from the record of the Inner Temple, where Chaucer was then a student.

A MILITARY PUN.

H.W.D.

Beattie, the author of the Minstrel, had such an antipathy to the fowl which he somewhere denominates fell chanticleer,' that the mere sight of it threw him into a state of agitation, which prevented him from attending to business or study for several hours afterwards. His students are said to have practised occasionally upon this weakness of his. When they wanted a holiday, they contrived that the Doctor should meet, in the very threshold of his class-room, his most dreaded foe. Home he went, like one under the influence of enchantment. There is a stanza in the Minstrel, in which he apostrophizes and calls down anathemas upon the poor creature. He concludes with the following line

"And ever in thy dreams the ruthless fox appear." Edin. Lit Jour.

A MINISTER OF THE OLDEN TIME.

A minister of the olden time, happening to be upon his death-bed, fell suddenly into a swoon, and reviving after some time, he said to those around him, "A's safe noo freens; I heard God himsell saying- Make way for my obedient servant, Mr. John Scott.'" Ib.

THE SURGEON AND HIS APPRENTICE.

A surgeon's apprentice in Newcastle, having completed his engagement, went forth into the world to push his fortune. Several years elapsed, and he began to fade from the remembrance even of those whose hen-roosts and orchards he had pilfered, or whose cats he had hanged. At length, he returned to his native place in the character of a mountebank, and delivered his introductory lecture right opposite to the shop of his old master, who came to the door and began to laugh heartily at what he said and heard. "Observe that giggling fool," said the quondam apprentice to his audience, suiting the action to the word, "he does not know that, without one of my bottles, he will be dead before to-morrow." This alarming prognostication was followed up by such cogent reasons, that, strange to tell, ministered in terms of the label. Such is the bottle was actually bought, and adthe power of oratory.

A FAMILY CONNEXION.

Ib.

A gentleman of my acquaintance, while occupied in examining the sculptures over the burying-place of a noble family, observed a person of the lower class sidling up to him with an air of much importance. My friend thereupon, without seeming to withdraw his attention from the insignia of the illustrious dead, devoted part of it, nevertheless, in side glances to the stranger, who, after a preliminary cough, and elevation of his body so far beyond its previous height that one might have fancied it composed of Indian rubber, thus delivered himself: "I was connected, sir, with that family.". "Indeed!" said my friend, not a little surprised at the shabby appearance of this scion of nobility; "How were you connected with it?"" In the shoemaker line, sir." Ib.

SIR RALPH ABERCROMBIE,

As Sir Ralph Abercrombie was proceeding to the residence of the Polish ambassador in London, for the purpose of presenting to his Excellency a friend of great merit, though unacquainted with any language but his own, "Pray," enquired the latter, anxiously, "does the ambassador speak English?"-"Yes," said Sir Ralph, with a serious smile, "much better than you do."

Ib.

Illustrated Article.
THE BRIDAL BANQUET.

A Scene from an unpublished Historical
Romance.

(For the Olio.)

THE bridal feast was prepared in the Cenacula, or grand banquetting rooms in the palace of Carausius, on the tower crowned hill of Sorbiodunum.* Here were ostentatiously displayed the vast riches and magnificence which the British Augustus had acquired during his command of the Roman fleets against the pirate Francs, Saxons, and other northern nations that infested all the maritime provinces of the empire; for it is well known that this chief never attacked those rovers of the ocean till they had obtained immense plunder, which he immediately seized with irresistible force, but never restored to its original and rightful pos

sessors.

The walls of these imperial Cænacula were ornamented with pilasters of Servatian and African marble; the architrave, frieze, and corona, were of burnished gold, wrought with the richest devices and elaborate arabesque-work of foliage, fruit, and flowers. Corinthian colonnades of cherry-coloured porphery supported the lofty and gorgeous roof, which was embellished with palm-trees, eagles, and lions, the latter being the armorial cognisance of the Emperor's shield, all superbly wrought with excellent cunning by the skill of the artificer, and blazing with gold and gems. Along the walls were arranged paintings of the most noble design and brilliant colours, by Grecian, Roman, and British artists. Hangings of pictured tapestry, and canopies of Tyrian dye, fringed with beaming silver and pearls of the ocean, flowed downward in rich and tasteful folds from pillar to pillar, and above the splendid couch or stall of the Emperor, streamed the Labarum, or amethystine-coloured standard, borne before him when he marched to battle, and also the Aplustre, or ocean-banner, which had ever floated above his galley in all

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the victories that he obtained during his dominion of the seas. Down the aisles of these spacious and magnificent halls stood tables consecrated with rich images of the gods, and costly salt-helders, and covered with numberless dishes of silver and gold, containing the most delicious viands. Each table was surrounded by high couches, ornamented with ivory and precious metals, and spread with carpets and coverlids of Sidonian and Persian web, exquisitely embroidered with flowers of the brightest dyes. On these were laid silver-wrought pulvini and cushions, filled with roses of Malta and Pestan, and aromatic spiceries of the East, for the bridal guests to repose on at the banquet. In the centre of the Canaculum flowed three fountains of variegated marble. In the middle of the first stood a silver eagle, from the beak of which gushed ruby streams of the delicious wine of Falernus. In the next was a refulgent peacock, whose plumes were of precious stones, imitating the natural hues of that splendid bird, whilst from its starry train the fountain played upward in a beautiful shower of liquid pearl, refrigerating the perfumed

air, and yielding with its refreshing coolness a soft and pleasing melody through the hall. In the lower fountain was a rampant lion of burnished gold, from whose extended jaws streamed amber gushings of Maronean wine. Lamps of Sidonian glass, of jasper, gold, and phengites, or beautifully transparent alabaster, filled with costly and fragrant oils, flung their pure and brilliant lustre over the feast, while vases and urns, embossed and enamelled with the most exquisite sculpture, paintings, and precious jewels, smoked with the frankincense of Hadramut, the myrrh of Asia, and the musk of Thibet, breathing the delicious odours of Paradise.

1.

Cymbal, trump, and horn, and harp, and flute, sounded through the palace of Sorbiodunum. The bronze doors of the Canaculum were flung open, and Carausius, bearing the ivory scipio, or consular sceptre, in one hand, and leading Malwyna in the other, entered amid the clang and deep toned flourish of martial music, to sit down at the bridal supper. Then rose the spousal chorus of a thousand voices, pealing in melodious thunders

Having been previously bathed in the perfumed waters of the Tepidarium, the Emperor was arrayed in bis Consular chlamys or Toga-picta. It was of the richest purple, with magnificent embroideries of figures in Phrygrian work, and thickly studded with gems. His tunicapalmala was interwoven with the triumphal representation of palm-trees and war-gallies, in allusion to his naval victories; around his neck hung chains of gold and pearls of Havila, of inestimable price, and precious stones from the mines of Ind. His milk-white diadem flashed with diamond lightning, and its wreaths were encircled with the laurel of victory. The charms of the angel-like Malwyna now shone with dazzling and tenfold lustre! her stola was a glittering sheet of massy splendour, and her flowing pallium was of the gorgeous dyes of the sunbow, showered with starry sapphires, rubies, and emeralds. She was crowned with a chaplet of beautiful flowers, and the Flammeum or golden veil, half concealed her luxuriant and crisped tresses. A procession of lovely boys preceded them, some with torches, and others with smoking censors of odorous gums and garlands of fresh blown flowers; and they were at tended by eunuchs and numerous slaves, in sumptuous habits, to wait on them at the banquet.

Caswallon Allectus, and all the British kings at the imperial court of Albion, followed, with many of the German princes, and pirate chiefs of the Saxons and Francs, whose alliance and friendship Carausius now courted, giving them ships and commanders, who instructed them in all the arts of navigation and nautical warfare, that he might strengthen his power, and support by their aid, when needed, his usurpation of the third part of the Roman empire.

Carausius led the empress-bride to the centre place on the middle dining bed, beneath the hangings and banners of state, where he placed her next below himself, leaning his own head on the bosom of the treacherous Alectus. The other ladies, princes, and officers of the court reposed, according to their different degrees, on their ivory beds and perfumed cushions around the banquet. The slaves and attendants brought water in splendid basins, wherein the guests dipped their hands, and then wiped them in napkins of the finest linen of Egypt. Showers of roses, myrtle, and odours, were scattered upon them; and to each one were given garlands and chaplets to adorn their brows,

The banquet began-but who can describe its pomp and luxuries?

Not the far-fetched and dearly-purchased viands of Lucullus and Apicius, or the expensive feasts of a Vitellius, a Caligula, or a Clodius Esopus, could exceed the multitudinous dainties of this bridal supper! Here, in golden platters, of enormous size, dishes of silver, and chargers of costly brass and onyx, were the roebuck and fawn of the desart, with the stall-fed ox from the rich valleys of Elmet; peacocks from Samos, adorned with the starry plumage of their gorgeous trains; birds from the hills of Phrygia ; cranes of Melos; bustards from the plains of Sorbiodunum; swans from the rivers and lakes of Cambria; and kids and sheep from the thymy mountains of Venedocia and Deheubarth. Dishes filled with

combs, cruelly torn from the living cock, the favourite delicacy of that luxurious gastrolater Heliogabalus, the livers of guilt heads, the brains of pheasants and peacocks, and the tongues of phenicopters or bee-eaters. In others were the duggs of swine, heads of ostriches, young Maltese dogs, and camels' udders; wild boars from the British forests, the flesh of which was dressed fifty different ways, also the porcus trojanus; doves and pigeons from Gaul, with the tongues of nightingales and flamengoes, from the shores of Africa. To these were added Tartasian mullet and sea-lampreys, highly esteemed by the ancients at their feasts; trouts from Pessinuntum, crabs of Chios, the music-charmed dolphin; the muræna of Sardinia, the cornutta or gurnard, with rich oysters from Lucrine, Rutupiæ, and the shores of Baie.

*

Many of these exquisite dainties were brought in and placed before the Emperor and his bride, to the sweet sound of flutes, recorders, and trumpets, while the attendants who bore them were crowned with flowers.

Of fruits, there were figs, melons, pineapples, purple and golden grapes, from the sunny fields of Etruria, the valleys of Danmonia, and the vine-bowers of Burgundy. Tatian nuts, Egyptian dates, the jambu, orange, lemon, and shaddock, from the climes of the east; almonds from the woods of Iberia; the cocoa of the Indian Isles; the fruit of the giant palm; and the mango tree, with the rich pome granates and apples of the groves of Palestine: Wines of the most delicate and mellifluous flavour were poured forth in profusion; conveyed to Britain from Tarepta, the isles of Greece, the hills of Lusitania, the vales of Gallaecia, and the fair provinces of the Aquitani."

Music