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ing with one that is very near and dear to me; and this came so immediately on the back of it, that I had well nigh given up
all for lost. But it is
Just in the last distressing hour,
And this method makes his interposition more manifest. Help failed on every side. May we then erect our JEHOVAH JIREH, and say, the LORD did graciously provide according to our great need. May I henceforth love and serve him better than I have ever
I hear much of what ought to be the conduct of professors of christianity, to make religion appear amiable in the eyes of those who would otherwise despise it. The LORD help me to chuse that good part that I shall never repent of hereafter ! Teach me in the
way that I should go ! I trust my eyes are up to the LORD for direction. He knows my very heart, and I trust in the sincerity of it I do love him: and as long as that love is in exercise, it will be my great desire to aim by every lawful means to recommend religion to those that are about me. It is, if I am not deceived, my earnest wish that his name may be glorified in and by me; and, if I am wrong in the method I take, I pray that he may cause me to walk in that
wherein he would have me to go.
Oh how much have I to bemoan and la
ment before God! If he were extreme to mark in me what has been done amiss, I should never be able to plead for mercy
before him. I have got into a very dead barren frame of spirit. I fully expect that I shall soon have a fresh cross to take up. I believe the LORD will not have his children
thus stupid and indifferent; and therefore there seems a needs bé that I should have an affliction of one sort or another, that I may seek him with greater fervour and animation. For at present there seems little difference between me and those who make no profession of loving God, only as I am enabled to pray and request that I may see better times.
say, “Come Holy Spirit, &c. &c. My soul cleaveth to the dust. Quicken “ thou me,” and “ restore to me the joys of “ thy salvation!"
I may well
For these last twelve hours, while my eyes have been kept from sleeping, I have had exercise in deep waters of perplexity. I am almost overcome with sorrow; yet, though “ cast down, I am not destroyed.”—When I was before the LORD pouring out my complaint, I was greatly tried to say, in the feeling of my troubles, “ It is the LORD, let
“ him do what seemeth him good.” Oh! I fear I have cominitted much sin in this sorrow. I would apply to the blood of Christ for cleansing; but I find a mind estranged from God. I hope he will forgive me; and that as a father pitieth his children, so he will graciously be pleased to have compassion on me, who, though dust and ashes, would still claim relation to the God of Heaven. I hope this may be a good lesson to me, that when I forsake God I forsake my own comfort; for it was in neglecting him at our time of
approaching his throne of grace, that way was made for the many, very many uncomfortable feelings I have since experienced. I think, if this breach be ever settled and peace restored to my mind, I shall be truly thankful, and cautious how such another trouble comes upon me through such means.
I hope and believe I prayed in spirit, when I asked of the LORD to make himself known as the God of peace. He kindly heard me, and, I believe, enabled both me and the friend with whom I had differed, to have it in remembrance, that the tongue is an unruly member. Oh, that we may at all times have this in mind, when it is prone to get beyond the limits of sound reason and religion! May we thus learn a good lesson, and be thankful to the LORD for his gracious interposition!
The LORD's kindness and mercy continually call aloud upon me to sing to his praise. Oh! that my hard heart were more affected under a due sense of his kindness and goodness to my soul! I have further experienced deliverance from him when I was in great