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In short, in the many varied amenities of life, the fundamental rule of action should be the golden rule: "To do unto others as we would that others should do unto us."

We are at ease, we are made peaceful, satisfied and happy, by words and acts of kindly feeling extended to us; and in like manner we may strew the pathway of others with roses and sunshine, by courteous action, and kind, gentle and loving conduct; to do which may cost us no effort, but on the contrary may afford us real pleasure.

In a business, social and artistic view, it is of very great advantage to most people to be possessed of ease and grace of manner. By the possession of confidence and self-command, a single individual will oftentimes cause a large company, that otherwise would be socially very inharmonious, to be satisfied, composed and perfectly at ease; and in a thousand ways such a person will scatter happiness and blessings among those with whom he or she may come in contact.

Natural and Acquired Politeness.

To some, a pleasing manner comes very naturally. If born to the possession of an easy flow of language, agreeableness of address, poetical and imaginative power, and large knowledge of human nature, the whole accompanied by judicious training, good education and wide opportunities, such persons will most surely, without studied effort, be self-possessed and at ease in any company, upon any occasion.

On the contrary, if the natural advantages have been few, and the opportunities for acquiring polished deportment limited, then we may very appropriately make a study of the subject of how to please; and hence the necessity for special instruction on the subject of Etiquette.

It is of the utmost importance, however, that there be no labored effort to behave by rule, and that the forms of etiquette be not carried too far. The law of common sense should rest at the basis of our intercourse with society, and a kindly desire to make happy everybody with whom we

come in contact, should actuate our conduct. Still, with all this, there are thousands of people of the kindest intentions, with much breadth of intellect, who continually violate the common usages of society, and who are liable to do the wrong thing at important times, and thus embarrass their warmest friends. Hence, the need of a treatise on general conduct is evidently as much a necessity as is the text-book on grammar, penmanship or mathematics.

If the soldier is more efficient by drill, the teacher more competent by practice, the parliamentarian more influential by understanding the code of parliamentary law, then equally is the general member of society more successful by an understanding of the laws of etiquette, which teach how to appear, and what to do and say in the varied positions in which we may be placed.

In the study of etiquette, much may be learned by observation, but much more is learned by practice. We may listen to the finest oratory for a dozen years, and yet never be able to speak in public ourselves; whereas, by practice in the art of declamation, with passable talent, we may become quite proficient in half that time. We may thoroughly study the theory and art of language for twenty years, and yet be very poor talkers. We may practice the art of conversation by familiar and continuous intercourse with the cultured and refined, and become fluent and easy in communicating thought in a few years.

Such is the difference between theory and practice. Both are necessary- the former in pointing the way; the latter by making use of theory in practical application. Thus we may acquire ease and grace of manner: First, by understanding the regulations which govern social etiquette; and secondly, by a free intermingling in society, putting into continual practice the theories which we understand. To avail ourselves, however, to the fullest extent of society advantages, we must have acquaintance; and hence, we introduce the rules of etiquette by a chapter on the forms of presentation-the art of getting acquainted.

Etiquette

OF (

NTRODUCTIONS

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HERE are various forms of introduction to be used, each depending on particular circumstances. Thus, when introducing a gentleman to a lady, the party introducing them will say, bowing to each as the name of each is pronounced, "Miss Williamsor, allow me to introduce to you my frie ad Mr. Grant; Mr. Grant, Miss Williamson."

Some prefer the word "present" instead of the word "introduce." The choice of words is not material. The form is all that is essential.

Of two gentlemen being introduced, one of whom is more eminent In position, look first at the elder or superior, with a slight bow, saying, "Mr. Dunham, I make you acquainted with Mr. Stevens; Mr. Stevens, Mr. Dunham."

The last clause, repeating the names, "Mr Stevens, Mr. Dunham," may be justly regarded as a useless formality, and is not necessary unless for the purpose of making the names more distinct by their repetition.

persons are entitled to the same, as Honorable, Reverend, Professor, etc. Thus, in introducing a clergyman to a member of the legislature, it is etiquette to say: "Mr. Shelden, permit me to present to you the Reverend Mr. Wing." Addressing Mr. Shelden, he says: "Mr. Wing is the pastor of the First Presbyterian church at Troy, New York." Addressing Mr. Wing, he continues: "Mr. Shelden is at present our representative in the State Legislature, and author of the Shelden Letters' which you have so admired."

If there are many introductions to be made, the simple words, "Mr. Smith, Mr. Jones," will serve the purpose. Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones will then take up the weather or some other topic, and proceed with their conversation. A very proper reply for either party to make when introduced is, "I am glad to meet you," or, "I am happy to make your acquaintance."

If several persons are introduced to one, mention the name of the single individual but once, as follows: "Mr. Belden, allow me to introduce Mr. Maynard, Mr. Thompson, Miss Hayward, Mrs. Rice, Mr. Harmon, Mr. Brown," bowing to each as the name is mentioned.

When introducing a couple that may be somewhat diffident, the parties will be materially aided in becoming sociable and feeling at ease, by a very full introduction, thus: "Miss Kennicott, allow me to present to you my friend Miss Swift. Miss Kennicott is from the far-famed city of New Haven, Connecticut; and, upon the close of her visit here, is going to California for a visit of a year. Miss Swift is from Buffalo, New York, and is attending Hopedale Seminary in this city."

Persons being introduced have an opportunity for conversation, and are immediately set at ease by the person introducing giving the place of residence and the business of each, with the introduction, thus: "Mr. Snow, allow me to make you acquainted with Mr. Burton. Mr. Burton is extensively engaged in mining in Colorado. Mr. Snow is one of our lawyers in this city." He may still continue, if he wishes to aid those whom he is introducing, by saying, "Mr. Burton comes East for the purpose of disposing of mining stock to some of our capitalists, and it is possible, Mr. Snow, that with your large acquaintance you can give him some information that will aid him." Such an introduction will immediately lead to a general conversation between the parties, and the person having introduced them can then retire if he so desires.

It is always gratifying to any one to be highly esteemed, hence you will confer pleasure by always conveying as favorable an impression as possible when giving the introduction.

Always apply the titles when making introductions, where the

General Suggestions About Introductions.

Ladies being introduced should never bow hastily, but with slow and measured dignity.

The inferior is to be introduced to the superior; the younger to the older; the gentleman to the lady.

It is the lady's privilege to recognize the gentleman after an introduction, and his duty to return the bow.

Introductions on the streets or in public places should be made so quietly as not to attract public attention.

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Perfect ease and self-possession are the essentials to the making and receiving of graceful and happy introductions.

Etiquette requires that a gentleman always raise his hat when introduced to either a lady or gentleman on the street.

Introduce to each other only those who may find acquaintance agreeable. If any doubt exists on the subject, inquire beforehand. When introducing parties pronounce the names distinctly. If you fail to understand the name when introduced, feel at liberty to inquire.

One of the duties of the host and hostess of a private party is to make the guests acquainted with each other. Guests may, however, make introductions.

Introductions are often dispensed with at a private ball, it being taken for granted that only those are invited who ought to be acquainted. Thus acquaintance may begin without formal introduction. If upon any occasion you are introduced at a friend's house to even your bitterest enemy, courtesy requires that you salute him, or her, and give no sign of ill-feeling while you are the guest of your friend.

If casually introduced to a stranger, when making a call at the house of a friend, etiquette does not require a subsequent recognition. It is optional with the parties whether the acquaintance be continued or not after such accidental meeting and introduction.

Always pronounce the surname when giving the introduction. To be introduced to "my cousin Carrie" leaves the stranger at a loss how to address the lady. In introducing a relative, it is well to say, "My brother, Mr. Wells; My mother, Mrs. Briggs," etc.

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To shake hands when introduced is optional; between gentlemen it is common, and oftentimes between an elderly and a young person. It is not common between an unmarried lady and a gentleman, a slight bow between them when introduced being all that etiquette requires.

Persons who have been properly introduced have claims upon the acquaintance of each other which should call for at least a slight recognition thereafter, unless there be very decided reasons for cutting the acquaintance entirely. To completely ignore another to whom you have been rightly introduced, by meeting the person with a vacant stare, is a mark of ill-breeding.

Introductions at Court and Presidential Receptions.

In paying your respects to the President of the United States, you will be introduced by the master of ceremonies on public occasions. At other times, to send in your card will secure you audience, although the better way is to be introduced by a mutual acquaintance, or a member of Congress. Introductions at Court in foreign countries are accompanied by a good deal of formality. At the English Court, the stranger, having the credential of the American Ambassador, will be introduced, if a lady, by a lady; if a gentleman, by a gentleman. Elsewhere abroad the proper method in each case can be best learned from our national representative at each capital. Court etiquette requires that the lady appear in full dress, and the gentleman in black suit, with white vest, gloves and necktie.

Forms of Salutation.

Common forms of salutation, in America, are the bow, the kiss, words of address, and shaking hands.

The married lady will use her discretion when introduced to gentlemen. Two persons meeting on the street, accompanied by friends, may stop and speak to each other without the necessity of introducing their friends, though, when parting, it is courtesy for each to give a friendly salutation as though acquaintance had been formed.

Parties who may meet by chance at your house, when making calls, need not necessarily be introduced to each other. If, however, they continue their calls together, it may be agreeable to make them acquainted in order to more pleasantly carry forward conversation.

If you are a gentleman, do not let the lack of an introduction prevent you from rendering services to any unattended lady who may need them. Politely offer your protection, escort or assistance, and, when the service has been accomplished, graciously bow and retire. A visitor at your house should be introduced to the various callers, and the acquaintance should continue while the friend remains your guest. All callers should aim to make the visit of the friend as pleasant as possible, treating the guest as they would wish their friends to be treated under similar circumstances.

If thrown into the company of strangers, without the formality of an introduction, as is often the case when traveling and at other times, acquaintance may be formed between gentlemen and ladies, with proper reserve, but duty requires that the slightest approach toward undue familiarity should be checked by dignified silence.

Acquaintances are usually entitled to the courtesy of a bow. It is poor policy to refuse recognition because of a trifling difference between parties.

The young lady should show similar deference to an elderly lady, or to one in saperior position, that a gentleman does to a lady.

A gentleman who may be smoking when he meets a lady should, in bowing, remove the cigar from his mouth and from her presence.

When bowing to ladies, it is etiquette for the gentleman to raise his hat from his head. If passing on the street, the hat should be raised and salute given with the hand farthest from the person addressed.

A bow or graceful inclination should be made by ladies when recognizing their acquaintances of the opposite sex. It is the privilege of the lady

to bow first.

A gentleman on horseback should grasp whip and reins in his left hand, and raise his hat with his right, when saluting a lady. The lady salutes by bowing slightly.

To a casual acquaintance you may bow without speaking; but to those with whom you are well acquainted greater cordiality is due. A bow should always be returned; even to an enemy it is courtesy to return the recognition.

When a gentleman, accompanied by a friend meets a lady upon the street, it is courtesy in the salutation for the gentleman's friend to bow slightly to the lady also, as a compliment to his companion, even though unacquainted with the lady.

On meeting a party, some of whom you are intimately acquainted with, and the others but little, the salutation should be made as nearly equal as possible. A slight recognition of some and great demonstration of pleasure toward others is a violation of etiquette. A gentleman should return a bow made him on the street, even if the one making the same is not recognized. The person may possibly be a forgotten acquaintance; but, even if a mistake has been

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made, there will be less embarrassment if the bow is returned.

A gentleman should not bow from a window to a lady on the street, though he may bow slightly from the street upon being recognized by a lady in a window. Such recognition should, however, generally be avoided, as gossip is likely to attach undue importance to it when seen by others.

A warm cordiality of manner, and a general recognition of acquaintances, without undue familiarity, is a means of diffusing much happiness, as well as genial and friendly feeling. In thinly settled localities the habit of bowing to every one you meet is an excellent one, evincing, as it does, kindliness of feeling toward all.

When meeting a lady who is a stranger, in a hallway, upon a staircase, or in close proximity elsewhere, courtesy demands a bow from the gentleman. In passing up a stairway, the lady will pause at the foot and allow the gentleman to go first; and at the head of the stairway he should bow, pause, and allow her to precede him in the descent

How to Address Others-Nicknames.

Use the title, when speaking to others, whenever possible. Thus, addressing John Brown, a Justice of the Peace, say "Squire; " Dr. Bell you will address as "Doctor;" Mayor Williams, as "Mayor;" Senator Snow, as 'Senator;" Governor Smith, as "Governor; " Professor Stevens, as "Professor," etc.

Before all public bodies, take pains to address those in authority very respectfully, saying to the presiding officer, "Mr. President," or if he be a Mayor, Judge, or Justice, address him as "Your Honor," etc.

When stopping at the house of a friend, ascertain the Christian names of all the children, and of those servants that you frequently have to address; and then always speak respectfully to each, using the full Christian name, or any pet name to which they may be accustomed.

To approach another in a boisterous manner, saying, "Hello, Old Fellow!" "Hello, Bob!" or using kindred expressions, indicates illbreeding. If approached, however, in this vulgar manner, it is better to give a civil reply, and address the person respectfully, in which case he is quite likely to be ashamed of his own conduct. Husbands and wives indicate pleasant conjugal relation exist

A

ing where they address each other in the family circle by their Christian names, though the terms of respect, "Mr." and "Mrs.," may be applied to each among strangers. When speaking of each other among near and intimate relatives, they will also use the Christian name; but among general acquaintances and strangers, the surname.

Never call any one by a nickname, or a disrespectful name. Treat all persons, no matter how lowly, in addressing them, as you would wish to be addressed yourself. You involuntarily have more respect for people, outside of your family or relatives, who call you "Mr. Smith," or "Mr. Jones," than for those who call you "Jack," or "Jim." Hence, when you speak to others, remember that you gain their favor by polite words of address.

When speaking to a boy under fifteen years of age, outside of the circle of relatives, among comparative strangers, call him by his Christian name, as "Charles," "William," etc. Above that age, if the boy has attained good physical and intellectual development, apply the "Mr." as "Mr. Brown," "Mr. King," etc. To do so will please him, will raise his self-respect, and will be tendering a courtesy, which you highly valued when you were of the same age. It is an insult to address a boy or girl, who is a stranger to you, as "Bub" or "Sis." Children are sometimes very sensitive on these points, resenting such method of being addressed, while they very highly appreciate being spoken to respectfully. Thus, if the child's name is unknown, to say "My Boy," or ") My Little Lad," My Girl," or "My Little Lady," will be to gain favor and set the child a good example in politeness. Children forever gratefully remember those who treat them respectfully. Among relatives, nicknames should not be allowed. Pet names among the children are admissible, until they outgrow them, when the full Christian name should be used.

Upon the meeting of intimate friends among ladies, at the private house, the kiss as a mode of salutation is yet common; but even there it is not as customary as formerly. The custom ought to be abolished for physiological and other reasons.

Upon the meeting or departure of a young person, as between parents and children, or guardians and wards, the kiss is not inappro priate in public. Between all other parties it is a questionable propriety in public places, it being etiquette to avoid conduct that will attract the attention of strangers.

Fig. 1. The snob that sticks out two Angers when shaking hands.

grasp entirely.

would cause an awkward pause; in which case apologize for not removing it, by saying, "Excuse my glove." The words and forms will always very much depend upon circumstances, of which individuals can themselves best judge. Kid and other thin gloves are not expected to be removed in hand-shaking; hence, apology is only necessary for the non-removal of the thick, heavy glove.

It is rude to grasp the hand very tightly or to shake it over-vigorously. To hold it a very long time is often very embarrassing, and is a breach of etiquette. It is always the lady's privilege to extend the hand first. In her own house a lady should give her hand to every guest.

If both parties wear gloves, it is not necessary that each remove them in shaking hands; if one, however, has ungloved hands, it is courtesy for the other to remove the glove, unless in so doing it

Fig 3. The generous, frank, wholesouled indivividual, that meets you with a warm, hearty grasp.

As a rule in all saiutations, it is well not to exhibit too much haste. The cool, deliberate person is the most likely to avoid mistakes. The nervous, quick- motioned impulsive individual will need to make deliberation a matter of study; else, when acting on the spur of the moment, with possibly slight embarrassment, ludicrous errors are liable to be made. In shaking hands, as an evidence of cordiality, regard and respect, offer the right hand, unless the same be engaged; in which case, apologize, by saying "Excuse my left hand." It is the right hand that carries the sword in time of war, and its extension is emblematic of friendliness in time of peace.