Yet let him know, crowned heads are sacred things, And give that Boswell's back another flogging." Such was the dream that waked the sleepy knight, MADAME PIOZZI. (1) Dear Doctor Johnson loved a leg of pork, That one might shake the flesh from off the bone. One Thursday morn did Doctor Johnson wake, MADAME PIOZZI. Whene'er our friend would read in bed by night, For blinking on his book, too near the flame, Lo! to the fore-top of his wig it came ! Burnt all the hairs away, both great and small, BOZZY. (4) At Corrachatachin's, in hoggism sunk, I got with punch, alas! confounded drunk. (1) ["A leg of pork, boiled till it dropped from the bone, or a veal pie with plums and sugar, were his favourite dainties."] (2) ["On Thursday morning, when Dr. Johnson awaked, he called Lanky! having, I suppose, been thinking of Langton; but corrected himself, and cried, Bozzy!' He has a way of contracting the names of his friends.”] (3) ["He would read in bed by night. In general his wigs were very shabby, and the foreparts were burned away by the near approach of the candle which his short-sightedness rendered necessary."] (4) ["A fourth bowl of punch was made. It was near five when I got to bed. I awaked at noon with a severe headach. I was much vexed that I Much was I vexed that I could not be quiet, I scarcely knew how 'twas I reeled to bed. The Doctor, entering, called me drunken dog. And read in Dame M'Kinnon's book of prayer; And read these words: - Pray, be not drunk with wine; MADAME PIOZZI. (1) One day, with spirits low and sorrow filled, I told him I had got a cousin killed : "My dear," quoth he, "for heaven's sake hold your canting: Were all your cousins killed, they'd not be wanting: Though Death on each of them should set his mark Though every one were spitted like a lark — Roasted, and given that dog there for a meal; BOZZY. (2) At Anoch, at M'Queen's we went to bed; - I, like a parish clerk, pronounced, Amen! My good companion soon with sleep was seized Methought a spider, with terrific claws, had been guilty of such a riot, and afraid of a reproof from Dr. Johnson. Sir,' said I, they kept me up!' He answered, No, you kept them up, you drunken dog.' Taking up Mrs. M'Kinnon's prayer-book, I opened it at the twentieth Sunday after Trinity, in the epistle for which I read, 'And be not drunk with wine, wherein there is excess."] (1) ["When I one day lamented the loss of a first cousin killed, Prithee, my dear,' said he, have done with canting: how would the world be worse for it, if all your relations were at once spitted like larks, and roasted for Presto's supper!"] (2) ["Dr. Johnson slept with a coloured handkerchief tied round his head. He said, God bless us both, good night.' I pronounced Amen! He fell asleep immediately. I fancied myself bit by innumerable vermin, and that a spider was travelling towards my mouth. At last I fell into insensibility."] But slumber soon did every sense entrap; MADAME PIOZZI. (1) Travelling in Wales, at dinner-time we got on Says I "Dear Doctor, a'n't these charming peas? BOZZY. (2) Of thatching well the Doctor knew the art, MADAME PIOZZI. (3) In ghosts the Doctor strongly did believe, BOZZY. (4) When young, ('twas rather silly, I allow,) One time, at Drury-lane, with Doctor Blair, My imitations made the play-house stare! So very charming was I in my roar, That both the galleries clapped, and cried, "Encore !" I tried to be a jackass and a calf: (1) ["When we went into Wales, and spent some time at Sir Robert Cotton's at Lleweny, one day at dinner I meant to please Mr. Johnson particularly with a dish of very young peas. Are not they charming?' said I to him. 'Perhaps,' said he, they would be so to a pig.""] (2) ["He talked of thrashing and thatching, and gave us an account of the whole process of tanning. His variety of information is surprising."] (3) ["He one day said to me, I can recollect telling Dr. Lawrence many years ago, that a long time after my poor mother's death, I heard her voice call Sam!'"] (4) ["A great many years ago, when Dr. Blair and I were sitting together in the pit of Drury-lane playhouse, in a wild freak of youthful extravagance, I entertained the audience prodigiously by imitating the lowings of a cow. The universal cry of the galleries was, Encore the cow!' In the pride of my heart, I attempted imitations of some other animals, but with very inferior effect. My revered friend, anxious for my fame, with an air of the utmost gravity and earnestness, addressed me thus, My dear sir, I would confine myself to the cow.'"] But who, alas! in all things can be great? In short, I met a terrible defeat: So vile I brayed and bellowed, I was hissed — MADAME PIOZZI. (1) On Mr. Thrale's old Hunter Johnson rode BOZZY. (2) We sailed about LOCH LOMOND in a boat, Quoth he, "That Pulteney was a rogue, 'tis plain (1) ["He rode on Mr. Thrale's old hunter with a good firmness. He was proud to be amongst the sportsmen; and I think no praise ever went so close to his heart, as when Mr. Hamilton called out one day, Why, Johnson rides as well as the most illiterate fellow in England.'"] (2) ["We sailed about upon Loch Lomond, and landed on some of the islands which are interspersed. Butit is unnecessary to describe," &c. — “One morning at Mull, the subject of politics was introduced. JOHNSON. 'Pulteney was as paltry a fellow as could be: he was a Whig who pretended to be honest; and you know it is ridiculous for a Whig to pretend to be honest.' He said, 'It is wonderful to think that all the force of government was required to prevent Wilkes from being chosen Lord Mayor of London, though the livery-men knew he would rob their shops and debauch their daughters.'"] |