MR. PHIL WILKINS DEFIES THE JUDGE. hold on a moment till I get down out of the tree." And hereupon he began to slide down the branches with remarkable activity. Now I must pause to observe that, although Mr. Wilkins was a gentleman of undoubted pluck, his reflective faculties were none of the clearest, or he would have borne in mind that the alarm which had caused him to seek refuge in the tree had cut short a very interesting argument between himself and the Judge, so that it was scarcely possible the latter could have had any thing to do with the fearful crashing of the bushes. But the faculty of combativeness was a strong element in his nature, and when this was aroused reason had no opportunity of asserting her sway-especially in a case where he was satisfied his antagonist was not a grizzly bear. Upon reaching the ground Mr. Wilkins immediately seized the iron soup-ladle, drew it reeking hot from the mess of chowder, whirled it thrice round his head and called upon the Judge fiercely and defiantly to come on. "Come on, Sir! draw your weapons if you have any! Now is the time, Sir, to settle this difficulty!" "Hold, Captain Toby!" shouted the Judge, flushed with rage, as the Captain manifested a disposition to run. "Permit me to alight! I demand it, Sir, as a constitutional right-the wretch is actually coming at me with the soupladle!" Here Captain Toby fairly started off, the Judge clinging to his shoulders, and vainly imploring him to stop. At this Mr. Wilkins set up a taunting shout, which so exasperated the Judge that he turned his face toward the camp, waved his hands wildly in the air, and uttered, at the highest pitch of his voice, these impressive words: "In the name of our glorious Confederacy of free States-in the name of the great and everlasting principles of justice upon which our judicial system is based-in the name of reason, honor, and humanity, I call upon every gentleman present on this occasion to witness that I am not absconding from that miserable dastard of my own free-will and consent! to bear in mind, now and henceforth, that it is not my own legs that are running away, but those of Captain Toby, with whom I shall presently have an additional account to settle! And I further insist upon it, as a great constitutional privilege-" Here the Judge's voice was lost in the distance. While this unfortunate difficulty was in progress, Colonel Jack had abandoned his position behind the tree and marched down with his rifle to the clump of bushes from which the alarming sounds had originally issued. He now emerged from the thicket, leading after him, by a stout riata, Captain Toby's Broncho, or wild horse, merely remarking that he had come "pretty near making a mistake." The Broncho, it appeared, had taken alarm at some imaginary enemy where he was picketed, broken away, and retreated toward the camp; but the riata becoming entangled had thrown him, and caused him to make all those fearful sounds which had created such general consternation. Perceiving this curious turn of affairs, the various members of the party now began to appear from their respective places of security. Some slipped down from the neighboring trees; some crept up out of dark ravines; and a few walked whistling into camp from unknown regions, as if they considered the whole thing an excellent joke. The Broncho having been securely picketed, the shivering members of the Association, now gathered around the fire, roused up the old negro from his swoon, and restored him to life by means of a little "nourishment" from private sources, and were in the midst of a general review of the facts when Captain Toby and the Judge came marching in, arm in arm, on the most amicable terms. "Gentlemen," said his Honor, smiling pleasantly--and here every body stopped to listen, for there was something peculiarly attractive in the Judge's voice- "it appears that we have all been in error respecting the character of the attack made upon us. My friend, Captain Toby, informs me that he was aware all the time that it was his famous Broncho that had broken loose; but he states that this animal is peculiarly dangerous when excited, on account of a remarkable faculty for kicking and bucking. It was a natu rai apprehension for the lives of his friends, as also for the safety of the blue keg, which had induced him to retreat in search of a tree capable of accommodating the whole party. The Captain further informs me, touching the unfortunate misunderstanding between myself and a member of this Association, that the reason why he persisted in running away during the progress of the difficulty was from a natural apprehension that some chance blow, aimed by either party at the other, might stave in the head of the keg, and thereby result in a loss to which the shedding of blood would be no comparison." "His Honor is perfectly correct, both in his premises and conclusions," said Captain Toby. "I once knew that Broncho to kill three large bears in a single night, by kicking their eyes out, and afterward breaking their ribs and dislocating their vertebræ. In respect to the misunderstanding between his Honor and Mr. Wilkins, I am authorized as a friend of both parties to say, that whenever Mr. Wilkins may think proper to withdraw the charge of imposture made by him, his Honor will be prepared to listen to further terms of accommodation." "Never while I live!" shouted Mr. Wilkins, firmly and steadily. "Never, Sir, never, so long as I am capable of appreciating the great fundamental principles of truth!" "Then there appears to be nothing for it," said the Captain, gloomily, "but the remedy usually adopted by gentlemen of spirit." At the suggestion of this extreme course, it is due to Mr. Wilkins to say that he looked a little serious. After a somewhat embarrassing si lence he observed, still in a steady and determined manner: "Sir, it is impossible for me to violate my obligations to society by withdrawing a charge based upon the eternal principles of truth. Yet I am willing to admit that there is a diversity of opinions respecting the exact nature of truth, and that the question has never been settled entirely to my satisfaction. Considering it in its simplest aspect as the mere negative of Error, I am prepared to concede that the attempted deception in the present instance was not strictly speaking a violation of Truth; in other words, that the Bear Presumptive had so remote a relation to the Bear Positive, that it need not necessarily be regarded as an infringement upon the great domain of the Actual. If, therefore, your friend is prepared to admit that he made but an indifferent bear, and did not design to inflict any permanent injury upon the great cause of Truth, I can have no reasonable ground for refusing to be satisfied with the explanation." The question having been submitted to the Judge by Captain Toby, who, in the absence of writing materials, was the only available medium of communication between the hostile parties, his Honor responded: "Nothing can be farther from my intention than an unreasonable adherence to arbitrary terms in the use of language; yet so far as 1 can perceive, the gentleman does not altogether withdraw the charge of attempted deception. In this I conceive the gravamen of the offense consists. It is not so much whether, in the personation of a formidable animal, capable of de stroying a full-grown ox, the part assumed to be personated was correctly and judiciously performed, as whether such a part was undertaken at all. If, therefore, the gentleman will admit that I not only made an indifferent Bear, but that it was not my original intention to assume that character, there will probably be no obstacle in the way of a mutual understanding." This proposition having been submitted to Mr. Wilkins and duly considered by that gentleman, a response to the following effect was the result: "While I am prepared to admit the indifference of the performance, it is utterly impossible for me to conjecture the gentleman's motives. His original intentions can only be known to himself. There is nothing within the entire range of knowledge about which we have so little satisfactory information as the motives which govern men in their ordinary and most reasonable acts. How much greater, then, must be the difficulty when these acts are of an extraordinary and incomprehensible character. If the gentleman will positively assert that he did not intend any insult to the common sense of the Association by appearing in the extraordinary position which he chose to assume, I can, of course, have no objection to the acceptance of his denial as conclusive." Captain Toby having submitted this proposition, the Judge responded as follows: "The disavowal of an insult to the common sense of the Association, introduces, in my opinion, a new feature in the cause. Yet courtesy to my associates induces me to waive that objection, and request that the question may be submitted to any disinterested person present who may be mutually agreed upon as an umpire. So far as I am concerned, I am quite willing that the selection shall be left to Captain Toby, in whose impartiality I have entire confidence." This proposition having been agreed upon by Mr. Wilkins, and Captain Toby duly authorized by both parties to select an umpire in the premises, the Captain briefly expressed his thanks for the confidence reposed in him, but requested to know before accepting the office of commissioner, whether the decision of the umpire was to be regarded as final and conclusive. To which both parties responded in the affirmative. "Then," said Captain Toby, "in virtue of the authority conferred upon me, I hereby nom inate our general benefactor, Dr. Campbell, as umpire to decide this difficult problem." The gentlemen of the first part looked rather astounded, it must be admitted, at the selection made by Captain Toby; but as neither chose to retract the authority, or be the first to advance an objection, the appeal was duly submitted to the Doctor, who had resumed his culinary functions and was at that moment engaged in stirring up the chowder. "Well, I dunnow 'zacly 'bout dat part of it," replied the Doctor; "he looked mighty like a grizzly when I seed him a comin' on to me, wid two heads and ever so many paws a stickin' out all round." "Were you, or were you not, insulted when he appeared to you in this attitude?" "Well, I wasn't 'zacly insulted: I was only scared." "And this you believe to be the general sense The question, as propounded by Captain Toby, of the Association?" was as follows: "Das my 'pinion, Cappen-I-I-may be "Did you, Dr. Campbell, or did you not, re- mistaken, but das my 'pinion!" cently see a grizzly bear in this camp?" Dat "Me?" said the Doctor, looking up from the chowder, and casting an apprehensive glance around him, "Oh yas-dat I did, Cappen. ere bar cum mighty nigh catchin' me, too! He chaw'd me on de heel, while I was lyin' downI know he did de way he stuck his teef in me. 'I-I smelt his bref!" "Show me your heel!" said Captain Toby. The Doctor exhibited his heel. It was badly burned-apparently by a coal of fire. "He has certainly been bitten," observed the Captain, gravely. "Now tell me, Dr. Campbell, did you, or did you not, mistake his Honor the Judge for a grizzly ?" CHOWDER READY. "It is therefore decided," said the Captain, turning toward the parties interested, "that although his Honor the Judge, under certain circumstances, might reasonably have been mistaken for a grizzly, yet he must be acquitted of any intentional insult to the members of the Association. It being also the general sense of the Association that they were alarmed, and therefore incapable of forming any reliable opinions on the subject, it is decided that Mr. Phil Wilkins offer his hand to the Judge as a token of amity; still, however, retaining the right to maintain his views on all questions of public and social import untrammeled by the obligations of reason." I am happy to record it as an instance of generosity, characteristic of our noble Association, that without attaching any importance to the order of the act, his Honor and Mr. Wilkins mutually advanced and shook hands; after which they received the congratulations of every member present upon the indomitable coolness displayed by both parties throughout the entire difficulty. Harmony being now restored, the utmost goodhumor beamed upon every face. The Doctor announced that the chowder was ready, and a circle was immediately formed around the steaming pot. The delay and exercise incident upon the alarm had given a sharp edge to the general appetite, and it must be conceded that no chowder ever cooked by mortal hands disappeared so rapidly or was so keenly appreciated. For the first fifteen minutes not a word was spoken. Time was too precious, and the business on hand too important, to admit of idle conversation. As soon as the tin platters were emptied, however, for the third time, a buzzing of voices might be heard during the brief intervals of rest. Each member had some individual experience of an extraordinary nature to relate. "The General," who had made his appearance from the bank of the creek wet to the skin and covered from head to foot with mud, lamented in moving terms the ruin of his splendid suit of buckskin, which was rapidly drawing up and losing all reasonable shape in the warm glow of the fire. "Not," said he, "that I care so much about the wetting or the loss of my buckskins, but I had a great deal of trouble in getting out of the creek, and was, after all, unsuccessful in my search for the bear. You are aware, gentlemen, that as soon as the noise was heard I at once drew my knife and rushed, as I supposed, toward the spot; but it now appears that I must have been deceived by the echo, and, instead of making for the bushes, that I erroneously took the opposite direction." Mr. Wilkins remarked that his experience was not altogether dissimilar from that of his friend the General. Upon the first cry of alarm it occurred to him that in consequence of the smoke from the camp-fire he might not be able to see the bear distinctly, so as to get a good shot at him. He thought it best, therefore, to secure an elevated position in the nearest tree overlooking the battle-ground. On reaching the desired position he discovered that he had forgotten his revolver, and indeed, upon further reflection, remembered that he had left it in San Francisco. "Besides, gentlemen," added Mr. Wilkins, triumphantly, "you will bear me witness that I denied the reality of the sounds from the beginning, and of course without those sounds there could have been no just cause for alarm." The Judge stated, in justification of the course pursued by him, that having read in the newspapers some account of the extraordinary size of the trees in California, it occurred to him that he would demonstrate the fact by actual measurement. He was aware that a more suitable occasion might have been chosen; but as the chowder did not appear to be quite ready, he thought it best to satisfy his mind on this subject before the matter should escape his memory. Having no appreciation of practical jokes, he of course paid no attention to the cries which had attracted the notice of others. "And in reference to the size of these trees," added his Honor, "I must say that they greatly exceed my expectations. The largest redwood of which we have any account is not more than thirty feet in fiameter, and from two hundred and fifty to three hundred feet in height; but to the best of my belief I have discovered an oak in this vicinity which greatly exceeds that measurement. Upon attempting a rough estimate of its girth by means of spanning the trunk with my arms, I have reason to believe that it must be one hunired feet in circumference. The height, of ourse, it would not be possible to determine without instruments." der, dropped his purse in the ashes. While he was lying down looking for it he heard a noise, and thought somebody was going to grab at his money, which was the reason why he called out to "Gway fum here!" Colonel Jack admitted that he was taken a little aback at first when he heard the noise. However, he thought if the grizzly had come he would have "tried it on, any how." The various gentlemen of the legal profession present had each an extraordinary case to sum up. One had run off to avoid a summons which he had reason to apprehend had been sent after him for contempt of Court in a particular case which had recently occasioned considerable difficulty in San Francisco; another had climbed a tree to get hold of his legal papers, which he had hung up there for security; a third had been asleep, and started off in a sort of dream in search of an important witness in the great Almaden case, without whom it could not be decided otherwise than against him; and so on to the end, each having a full and reliable justification. For my own part-this being a sort of confession-I must admit that my resolution was promptly formed to seize a brand of fire as soon as the bear appeared, and thrust it in his face. For this reason I lay perfectly still during the whole affair, conscious, at all events, that if the animal possessed a relish for highly-seasoned food he would first devour the old black Doctor and afterward the chowder-in which event he certainly could not have much appetite left for an indifferent feast of bones. It only remains now to add that each member having fully explained his, position, and the chowder being completely finished, a pause ensued, during which the fearful discovery was made that our esteemed friend and associate, Tom Fry, was missing! The last that was seen of him he was in the act of climbing a tree. Immediate search was made, but he was not to be found in that or any other tree. Guns and pistols were fired, and torches lighted and carried to the most prominent points. All in vain. There was no response from our unfortunate friend. In this sad dilemma, Captain Toby volunteered to mount his Broncho and go out in Captain Toby bore testimony to the accuracy search of the lost man, stating that being intiof the facts stated by the Judge. He took occa-mately acquainted with all the gulches, cañons, sion, at the same time, to refer to a tree with which he was intimately acquainted, in the same vicinity, of precisely double the circumference of that discovered by his Honor. It was not that 'tree, however, that he had started in search of, but another, still larger, in reference to the location of which he was in possession of private information derived from the Indians during a tour through this region last summer. Dr. Campbell, being called upon to give an account of his own proceedings on this occasion, stated that it was customary for "de gemmen ob de 'Sociation" to give him a quarter now and then to help "de ole nigger along;" that he had accidentally, in stooping over the chow trails, and thickets in the country he could not fail to discover him within any reasonable distance. An hour of dreadful suspense ensued. At the expiration of that period Captain Toby returned, carrying behind him an object in human shape that excited general sympathy and commiseration. It was the corpulent, but now ghastly and scarified figure of Mr. Fry, utterly destitute of clothing with the exception of a tattered pair of drawers. Hat, vest, shirt, pantaloons, and boots were all gone. As soon as the Captain bestowed some "nourishment" upon him out of the blue keg the unfortunate gentleman looked wildly around, and in a faint voice called for |